From an Actual Exchange on a Dating Site

29 May 2013

Her: Your profile is terrific. Your passion for your work (in specific) and life generally really comes through and that is very charming. I leave for grad school in late July. If dating a short timer isn’t a problem for you, I’d love to have a drink sometime. If that’s not what you’re looking for, I will totally understand.

RR: You’re leaving in 6-8 weeks, and I think that’s fanfuckingtastic. As it happens, that is just about the amount of time it usually takes for the mutual falling, lots of great dates, and then my seemingly inevitable but subconscious desire to fade away / screw things up because a woman has gotten too close to me. Another thing that typically occurs round that mark: the charms of dating a chef (the exquisite food, the random left-over sweets brought to her office, etc.) begin to fade in the face of late night hours, lack of weekend availability, and the like.

I think our caveats are different in nature but equal in measure. Now that you know mine, still wanna grab that drink?

Her: are you always so candid about your failings, or is this the dating equivalent of it being easier to tell strangers your deepest & darkest?

RR: I would like to think that it’s equal parts from each column, but the truth is more the later than the former… though I generally have no problems talking about my short-comings. That admission about the 6-8 week thing is a new one though.

What about you? Are you always so cynically realistic as your profile seems to suggest?

Her: I’ve already gave you one for free, you gotta buy me whiskey to hear more… but I swear if you even mention frequent-flyer miles, I’m out the door.

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A Poem in Search of a Muse

2 May 2013

Her notes demand to be read aloud

Words beg to linger on the palate

Like soft syrah – Lush, ripe, full 


Something Crossing My Mind Today

1 May 2013

When I first wrote a list of what I wanted in a woman, I was 21, inspired by some movie I cannot recall. It was two pages long.

When I next wrote that list, I was 30, inspired by a failed marriage and finding the impossibly shallow first list while unpacking in a new place. The second list was one page long.

Now I am just past 40, inspired by a question in a tweet and my list can fit on post-it note.