I Know, I Wish – Volume III

The third part of the occasional and almost entirely navel-gazing I Know, I Wish series – (part I, part II for reference.)

I know that the space between giving space and giving up is narrow but deep; I wish that it wasn’t also filled with water I must tread while wearing emotional lead boots.

I know that the disease steals more of you with every passing minute; I wish that I wasn’t so selfish in my reaction to the pain.

I know that our friendship is over; I wish I cared more about it ending than getting the last word.

I know that fidelity has never been high on your list of relationship priorities; I wish that you would stop making me complicit in the process.

I know that spending too much time on my high horse is a character flaw; I wish I didn’t like the view from there so much.

I know that it would be the height of irresponsibility and selfishness, but I wish that the fantasy of running away from this life didn’t hold quite so much appeal.

I know that intellectual and emotional reactions must be measured for appropriate response to stimuli; I wish that past prejudices didn’t have a thumb on the scale.

I know that choosing my battles is a sign of maturity; I wish that I didn’t use that as an excuse so often.

I know that grief, loss, and recovery all have stages; I wish that acknowledging them would make them go faster.

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5 Responses to I Know, I Wish – Volume III

  1. laloca says:

    amen.

  2. “I know that fidelity has never been high on your list of relationship priorities; I wish that you would stop making me complicit in the process.”~

    id like to go on the record saying im not the aforementioned whore…. im a totally different whore
    or at least i think i am 😉
    xoxo

  3. magnolia says:

    “I know that it would be the height of irresponsibility and selfishness, but I wish that the fantasy of running away from this life didn’t hold quite so much appeal.”

    i have this exact thought about 10 times a week, it seems. it sounds like heavy days around your world; sorry to hear that, and for whatever it’s worth, i send thoughts that things ease up soon.

  4. I just went back and read your two previous I Know/I Wish posts. And true to my last comment on Vol. 11, I still adore this format. Each statement says so much, revealing oodles about the author, the circumstances, the moment.

  5. City Girl says:

    Oh, how I’ve missed your posts, Dear Refugee! I smiled and nodded in agreement with each of the statements, but this one resonated the most with me:

    I know that grief, loss, and recovery all have stages; I wish that acknowledging them would make them go faster.

    xoxo

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