Being Careful & Preventative Measures

When I was seventeen, my father and I didn’t have the best relationship; but we still spent one afternoon having “the talk.” My high school best friend’s old man sat my buddy and me down to have “the talk” one night before we left for a party. I’m guessing that he wasn’t sure my dad and I had it. The two conversations were eerily similar.

Two days ago I had the talk with my nephew. Admittedly it was a couple of years past due but I suppose there was a a subconscious wish on my part that I could dodge the role of having “the talk.” When he told me about a recent experience, I knew I had no choice.

“Refugee Nephew, after what you just told me, we have to talk about something. This is extremely important and I need you to pay attention to me – it’s not an exaggeration to say that your life could depend on you remembering this. The next time you get pulled over for Driving While Black, you need to do the following…”

That was one of the saddest moments of my life, and I pray that he never has to give that speech one day.


7 Responses to Being Careful & Preventative Measures

  1. kitty says:

    driving while black, serving in the military while gay… come on, people. This is 2010 America. Our phones can do anything — why can’t we?

    It would be so nice to do away with this silliness.

  2. inkpuddle says:

    A friend of mine recently shared with me his latest story about Driving While Black, and I was so disappointed that it’s even still an issue today. As kitty said, it’s a shame technology can progress faster than we as a society can.

    I have to believe – because the alternative is too damn sad – that it gets better with each passing day.

  3. magnolia says:

    jeez. it’s sad beyond belief that this still has to happen…

    one day we will manifest the greater meaning (not the limited intent) of the Declaration of Independence. I’d really like to be around to see it.

  4. lemon gloria says:

    Oh, I hate this.

    In addition to the hope that my nephew never need give “the talk,” I was also hopping that he didn’t see the sadness on my face or the tears I fought back.

  5. My brother in law is black, and my sister is white. On two different visits, in two totally separate parts of the city (Van Ness and Capitol Hill), cops pulled them over…for absolutely no justifable reason. Not speeding, no expired tags, no outstanding tickets, no nothing.

    Both times, the cops not-so-discretely asked my sister how she was doing and asked my brother in law to step out of the car. I still get positively enraged when I think about how my brother in law must have felt.

    The feeling of helplessness mixed with rage that neither could show at the moment, must have been maddening. Words fail me.

  6. City Girl says:

    I join you in hoping that your nephew will not need to give this speech to anyone in the future, and I share in your disgust and sadness over the fact that you needed to give the speech to him.

  7. […] I am Trayvon’s father when I delivered the “Talk” to my 20year old nephew who I pray will never have to give that talk when he is my age  38.895112 […]

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