so sorta like one of those brainteaser pictures of something good that’s really something bad… yeah

So let’s suppose that you’re participating in some random online dating site. Let’s further suppose that you’re mostly jaded to the process but you do, however cross some random profile that intrigues you. Said profile is beautifully written and you’re the kinda person whose head is turned by well turned phrases. Suppose you have just enough bourbon to mitigate your fatigue with online dating in specific and dating in general and write this person a message.

Let us also suppose that your brilliantly crafted message (because you write really well with the aid of bourbon) receives an almost immediate and breathy response. This hypothetical message, still demonstrating this person’s ability to massage words, happens to include an email address and a suggestion that you use that for future contact.

Even though this scenario is entirely fictional, you would probably do a little google-stalking and some facebook searching. So suppose that even the most cursory of e-snooping demonstrates that the new object of your hypothetical fascination proves to be a nutter… like really a nutter. Like maybe, writes a blog that indicates this person is a “birther” kind of nutter. Like maybe thinks that Sarah Palin is “brilliant” and Glen Beck is a “journalist in the mold of Murrow.” See? Complete nutter… hypothetically speaking, of course.

So supposing all of those things happened to you, how would you respond? Would you respond or would you just back away very slowly trying not to disturb the crazy?


16 Responses to so sorta like one of those brainteaser pictures of something good that’s really something bad… yeah

  1. C_Girl says:

    I am eminently qualified to give advice on this because it actually did happen to me. I went on the date (he wasn’t a birther, but plenty nutty enough.) My hard-won wisdom: AVOID. There are a lot of excellent reasons those kinds of people are not our kind of people.

  2. rondamarie says:

    I’m a big proponent of honesty. I hate it when someone shows interest on a dating site then disappears altogether. So, if I were the woman on the other end of this exchange, I would appreciate an email from a man saying: “I googled you and it appears that we don’t have as much in common as I originally thought. I would hate to waste your time and mine pretending that these differences won’t matter in the long run. I wish you luck in your search.” Then, under no circumstances do you reply to her reply, because she will reply, make no mistake, and you just don’t engage crazy.

  3. Brando says:

    Definitely respond–if nothing else, correspondence with this person would be interesting and entertaining! And it never hurts to be exposed to radically insane views since they make every other opinion more sane by contrast.

  4. kate.d. says:

    i’d say back away slowly. unless you’ve got a masochistic streak, in which case, full speed ahead! ha.

  5. magnolia says:

    i second rondamarie. and that is perhaps one of the more disappointing experiences out there – when you find out someone who seems really cool is a total nutbar. sigh.

  6. Julie says:

    I’d write back to her and bring up Sarah Palin. Call her the anti-christ and bash the rest of what she’s into. That way, you’re not the ass.

  7. kitty says:

    only knowing your blog personality, I would say that you can’t avoid arguments, so go full steam, but know that those kind of people, the birthers, and nutcases in general, don’t respond to logic, so tread carefully, and by all means, report back!

  8. if you realllly loved us…your loyal would court her for sport… and record it here for our enjoyment… you see a *nutter* …i see a *book deal*

  9. Lemon Gloria says:

    I would run or do a quick and gentle fade. Crazy is crazy and DC is small.

  10. elle dubya says:

    there is so much crazy out there – even in the small towns as i’m quickly finding out on the random online dating site myself. i have to agree that a well crafted, yet brief, email would be appropriate. you’re too much of a gentleman to do anything less.

  11. Well, you don’t want to be one of THOSE guys who just disappears, further adding to the cynicism and doubt that’s now inherent in online dating. So, I say you write her a simple e-mail saying thanks but no thanks, you met someone else, your dog just died and you’re too depressed to date, or you are saving yourself for Willow Palin.

    Actually…probably leave that last bit out. Otherwise YOU might come off as having a case of the crazy yourself!

  12. Vie says:

    I concur with rondamarie’s comment. I’ve written people messages saying that for FAR less offensive things than “crazy.” When you have different values, there’s not much that can be done, and it’s likely that there will be fewer hard feelings.

  13. Foggy Dew says:

    There’s only one thing you have to ask yourself: Is she hot? If she is, that overcomes a lot. Nuff said. I was in this very same situation myself once – couldn’t have been further apart politically, and I’m a moderate. But she had other…umm, other assets that temporarily outweighed the nutter. I emphasize the temporary part. It was doomed from even before it started, but it was fun while it lasted.

    Also, I second the Blond one. You have an almost constitutional duty to pursue this and blog about it. It’s a moral imperative.

  14. If the hypothetical woman’s profile intrigued you enough prior to your Google search, why not meet her for a drink? You’re never one to shy away from political debate. And, what if the debate isn’t the only thing that’s heated ;)? xoxo

  15. […] may not be a complete nutter, I decided I had to do it. Not just because, as the Foggy Dew noted, being hot can overcome a multitude of failures (yes, my friend, I paraphrased you; get over it.) But really because as my favourite blonde wrote […]

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