Dear ABC Suits,
If you’re going to make a police show that blows like Kenny G’s horn, perhaps you shouldn’t include “Blue” in it’s name. The mental link to the great NYPD Blue only magnifies the spectacular suck that is Rookie Blue.
Dear Tryst Management,
I get that maybe you have suddenly decided to be the kind of restaurant that charges people for a refill of drip coffee, but not giving me a warning before my check appears and reads coffee-sandwich-coffee, is like pouring me a tepid cup of lamesauce.
Dear Former Major Client,
I know that you knew that I was getting fatigued with all of the travel, but trust me, you bouncing a big check wasn’t exactly the way that I wanted to free up some time.
Dear Tracy from the Vintage Vinyl Shop in Pittsburgh,
Not for nothing, but the Original Pressing of Coltrane & Hartman you sold me was only part of what made my day yesterday… if I was the kind of man who seriously considers the flirtations of married women, I absolutely would have danced with you in the store.