I’ve Got Five on it Friday – Volume IIX

I found on old journal today… old in the sense that I hadn’t written in it or seen it for at least a year, but it was hardly full.  It was a journal that I purchased one day because I was too snobbish to write on  drugstore paper, so I went to a bookstore to buy a journal that I promptly forgot that I had used.  What follows is the mostly completed post I found on its pages,

Five things I am almost positive you don’t know/wouldn’t suspect about me

  1. Once every few weeks I get a half-smoke from a DC street vendor, and I love it.
  2. I own a pair of overalls and I love wearing them every so often.
  3. I took the SAT’s for other people when I was in high school to make some extra cash
  4. Among the first things I notice about a woman are her eyelashes… but almost never before her shoes.
  5. I used to have a serious lead foot but the worst speeding ticket I ever received really wasn’t me… 120mph in a 65 zone.

Five things I really miss

  1. The simple elegance of Victoria’s Secret negligees from the 90s and early aughts
  2. The music of Sheila E. (not for nothing, but this link demonstrates her brilliance as a drummer and will make anyone old enough to remember to remember the song Glamorous Life just a bit wistfull.)
  3. A full box of Girl Scout Cookies… this may or may not be something that could not have been included on this list earlier this evening.
  4. Women like Rita Hayworth who could make removing an opera glove look like a striptease.
  5. Aroma Co. – R.I.P. to my favorite bar

Five Truisms of Online Dating That I Haven’t Previously Mentioned

  1. Women who have Hot, Princess, Queen, Sexy, any of their derivatives, or any other over the top self-aggrandizement contained in their screen name are rarely worth the effort.
  2. Randomly coming across your ex-spouse’s profile will induce vomit in the mouth… or is that just me?
  3. Women with more than one cat in their profile pictures are… women with more than one cat in their profile pictures.
  4. Anyone who uses the mind-numbingly overused cliché “work hard, play hard/er” is 3.67 times more likely to be a tool.
  5. Having done it for longer than most of the people who read this space have been able to legally drive, vote, or drink, I am pretty sure it is a complete and utter waste of time… but I cannot stop the eternal optimist in me from continuing to participate.

Five Tweets that have singularly made my Experiment with Twitter completely worth it

  1. @LexaLemmy – Him: wanna come to my place? Me: we met 30 minutes ago! Him: so your place? Me: I am a fucking lady!
  2. @PaigeWrites – I long for the day when I can highlight a comment in an email and designate it be shown in sarcastic font.
  3. @caradox: – All I asked Google was: “Explain the Republican strategy today.” Sorry for crashing the Internet.
  4. @suicide_blond – my car isn’t nearly as fast as my credit card… 0 to 6k in 2.2 seconds xoxo
  5. @postsecret – Today’s Email: “My soul-mate is a hardcore Yankee’s fan… I’m still single.”

Under the heading of insomnia making beautiful bedfellows: Over a 3am g-chat,  I asked my e-friend and unmitigated blog crush, Not That Kind of Girl, to ask me five questions to complete this installment.

  1. What is the one piece of literature you most wish you could have written? – anything from The Bard but most especially Sonnet 116 if only so that I could have known a love so deep that it inspired a definition of the subject.
  2. What is the most erotic word? – my name spoken by the right woman
  3. What is a smell with powerful associations to you that no one else in the world would recognize? – I am not sure that no one else would recognize it but the 1920s version of Channel perfume.
  4. Who has it pained you most to lose sympathy for? – probably Jessie Jackson.  When I was a young black child in the late 70s early 80s he was a hero of mine.  As an adult in the 90s, through the aughts, and to today, I am left with nothing but anger that the main stream media keeps giving him a microphone because of the assumption that he speaks for black people.  And even more angered that the most dangerous place is between him and a microphone.
  5. With whom do most frequently you have imaginary conversations? – myself.  I talk to myself more than anyone would guess.

      Previous editions of I’ve Got Five on it Fridays:

      Not Quite Five on It but I Include It Anyway

      The Official Volume I

      Also Not Quite a Five on It but I Include It Anyway

      Apparently I Don’t Count So Well Because This is Volume III

      Volume IV – Just Go with the Wacky Counting

      Volume V – In for a Poorly Counted Penny, In for a Miscounted Pound

      Volume VI – I suppose I could just correct it at this point, but this is more fun

      Volume VII – just  go with it


      9 Responses to I’ve Got Five on it Friday – Volume IIX

      1. kitty says:

        under what circumstances do you wear overalls?

      2. 1) Overalls? I don’t know about that.

        2) Glamorous life is one of the all-time great songs.

        3) In re: online dating — how about people who, when asked to describe themselves in one word, choose “indescribable”? Appalling.

        4) I love that my grammar got all Yoda in my last question. I blame you for keeping me up past my bedtime!

      3. magnolia2010 says:

        i just love the “i’ve got five on it” reference. our band in high school used to play that song at football games. memories…

        i miss late ’90s victoria’s secret, too – that was my first job, selling body splash at vicky’s in 1999. the stuff was so much cuter then.

      4. Lusty Reader says:

        oh god i LOVED my Jordache overalls in middle school, but then i had to stop wearing them in HS because if you walked down the senior hallway they would pick you up by them to give you a wedgie.

        but they are OH so comfortable, i wish i kept them!

      5. Online dating – it does work. Met hubby through online dating service.

        I hated male profiles that stated: I love walking on the beach at sunset and female profiles that stated the DaVinci Code was their favorite book.

        That booked BORED me to pieces.

      6. Lemon Gloria says:

        Overalls! You have overalls! I am delighted to know this.

        I hate hate hate the “work hard play hard” expression. It makes me want to punch the person who says it in the face.

        And as you know, I highly support optimism in the online dating world despite the myriad troglodytes and tools you wind up on dates with along the way.

      7. Jean says:

        I love the lists!

        As for online dating – there are just enough success stories to make one optimistic, but not enough to really make it super useful, it seems. I have two friends who are a great couple and they met online, but I never got far with it.

        As someone who went to college for words, I’m always interested in how people describe themselves and seeing how their description is, ultimately, descriptive of them, even if it’s not always so in a way they intended.

      8. I, too, love this! The weekly half-smoke and overalls definitely surprised me. (Do you ever enjoy one while wearing the other?) And, those might be the five best Tweets ever! xoxo PS I’m also wondering how the right woman says your name.

      9. I’m guessing you always pair your overalls with a classic timepiece.

        And of course you’d appreciate the need for sarcastic font. I mean really, that’s a shocker (<—–sarcastic font here).

        If we expand the definition of classic to include a 20yo Casio diving watch with plenty of paint stains, then yes.

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