A Few Short & Open Letters from the Week

To the older gentleman & your impossibly good looking wife who sat across from me at the coffeeshop, watching you help your wife with her coat was the sweetest gesture I had seen all day, and made me just a touch sad because so few young men know (or bother) to do such gracious things.

To the 20 something couple from Philly who asked me about restaurants (oddly enough without knowing that this is my area of expertise,) I hope you had a good time at Cashion’s and thank you for helping your fiancée with her coat – it restored a little faith.

To the Arizona Cardinals, Baltimore Ravens, and Dallas Cowboys, somehow you all conspired to convert a great football weekend with really intriguing match-ups into a complete snoozefest.   Have fun this off-season.

To the very good looking Ginger who sat next to me at the cigar bar, complained about the smell of my La Aroma de Cuba while chain smoking Camel Lights, I would have happily moved to another seat sooner had you asked me politely instead of rudely grumbling about it to the bartender.  Perhaps that tramp-stamp tattoo should have read “Chutzpah for Days” not “too sexy 4 U*”

To the car-service driver, Tony, when your passenger would rather fake a phone call instead of talking to you, that might be a good indication that you talk just a wee bit too much.

To the Ritz Carlton bartender, flirting with my date is a pretty sure way to get me to leave your bar, leave you a mediocre tip, and give a call to your F&B director… after I have calmed down enough to not spit nails into the phone.

To the woman who used to be a friend, when I told you that “you need to stop trying to fuck away your problems one random cock at a time” I really was trying to be helpful.  Contrary to your expressed belief, taking a different guy home every night is not “owning your sexuality” it is expressing your insecurity and rubbing salt in those emotional wounds.

To the baby who kept trying to give me his pacifier in the subway, I really appreciated your generosity but I was pretty certain that you were going to need it later, your smile was gift enough for me.

* I really wish I was making that up.


9 Responses to A Few Short & Open Letters from the Week

  1. Jean says:

    I love your vignettes, they’re always neat to read.

    Thank you.

  2. Carla Ganiel says:

    Every woman needs a friend who will tell her the cold, hard truth when no one else will. Even if she doesn’t want to hear it. I have one of those friends, and once or twice he has said things that were devastating to hear in the moment. In the end, I am always grateful. Not so much for what he says–because it is usually something I already know deep down–but because I know I can trust him in a way that I can’t trust anybody else.

    While I’m not sure that “fuck away your problems one random cock at a time” was up to your graceful and silver-tongued standards, delivery-wise, I applaud your saying it. I hope eventually your friend will forgive you.

    Eh, she was a former friend before I said it (though it was still said with intent to help.) More than her forgiveness, I hope that she get’s some help.

  3. k8 says:

    I wish I could follow you around some weekend and see all these people you describe so well. I love that you notice them. I’m a people-watcher. Sigh. I should probably just involve myself with life more than watch, but it’s fun, no?

    There is great joy in people watching, I am still lobbying for it to be included as an Olympic sport.

  4. kitty says:

    and here I thought I had an interesting week. Good work, sir.

    Thank you.

  5. brad says:

    Rivalry won’t allow me to agree re: the Cardinals and the Cowboys (always excited to see them embarrassed), but “too sexy 4 U?” Really? So much for believing that the body never lies.

    I understand your loyalties and all of that, but really? You could take joy in those games?

  6. elle dubya says:

    the thought of any such tramp stamp makes me shudder. much like a subtle perfume that should only be enjoyed by someone three inches (or less) from my neck (I do believe you’ve said similar), tattoos seem sexier when hidden from the general population.

    Tattoos have never been my thing. I’m not bothered by them, but not turned on by them either. And I certainly agree with your comparison.

  7. citygirlblogs says:

    I didn’t think you were going to tell anyone about my tramp stamp – hehe. Thankfully, the Jets-Chargers game added a little spice to a dull play-off weekend. And, I would have been livid at the bartender at the Ritz, too. xoxo

    Jets-Chargers was a decent game, but still not enough to call that weekend the football dog that it was.

  8. Love it! I know, a lame comment but it’s all I can muster on this random Wednesday night.

    Coming from you, the woman who consistently leaves the best comments all over the internets, that’s still a pretty nice compliment.

  9. […] went against my usual find-away-to-confront-discomfort tendencies but my response wasn’t calculated… just the instinctual reaction […]

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