First Things First… and That Ain’t First

In context of lives well lived, I am a young man; and this isn’t about to be some whiny, woe is me, I’m getting old post.  I have, however, started to become one of those guys who compares the world to things that happened in “my day.”  It wasn’t my lack of appreciation for contemporary music that pushed me to this acknowledgement, nor was it suffering the indignity of a sex sprain.  I am declaring my premature fogy status because I have become increasingly uncomfortable with immodesty.

I’ve never made a secret of my online dating adventures.  Recently a woman sent me a message; I skimmed her profile, looked at her pictures, and was immediately put off by her bikini shots.  That the bikini has become the standard swim suit for all women not swimming competitively is something that I have accepted.  That it has grown smaller by the year is also sartorial Stare Decisis.  Putting that imagination extinguishing picture in an online dating profile for all potential suitors to see is a bridge too far for me.

A woman’s body may be the world’s most perfect creation, and I love seeing as many of them as karma and life will allow.  I just don’t want to see that body before I know your name.  This might mark me as a prude, but really, is there no modesty left in this world?


6 Responses to First Things First… and That Ain’t First

  1. elle dubya says:

    not much unfortunately. i’ve noticed the lack of modesty in the women’s dressing room at the gym. don’t get me wrong, i completely understand it’s a dressing room – but still, all.hanging.out isn’t the best look for everyone. i change right next to them but still make an effort to minimize the air time of my girly bits.

    I have no problems with locker rooms, though my perspective is closer to yours than the exhibitionists among us, but putting in an online profile is just too much.

  2. Lazygal says:

    AHA! You’re a Christmas Present kind of guy (you want the fun of unwrapping). Can’t say I blame you; to me, cufflinks and a good suit are waaaay sexier than cutoff shorts and shirtless.

    As for modesty, well, when Paris Hilton et al. “forget” their undies, is a bikini (or nakedness in the gym dressing room) really going too far?

    Bring back the good old days, when a glimpse of stocking…

    That Ms. Hilton and her ilk have tilted the cultural landscape is a sad and damning bit of fait accompli

  3. Jean says:

    I like the Christmas present analogy. Very fitting. I think part of the fun of a relationship is that you see parts of the other person that the rest of the world doesn’t get to.

    For my money, I’m all about men in dress shirts. There’s just something about a pressed collar and lots of buttons that turns my head a lot faster than bare skin.

    But why is this trend so one sided? Why have women in this country been hoodwinked into accepting and participating in this realignment of normal much more so than men?

  4. kitty says:

    There’s an Outlook attachment called Xobni that links to publicly available profiles via LinkedIn and Facebook. Recently, my company was seeking a part-time person, and we could hardly believe that there was more than one person with a bikini photo.

    So not only have we lost our perspective on modesty, we’ve lost our judgement too?!?! I just don’t understand.

  5. Melis says:

    I swim four or five times a week for fitness at a local gym, and two things shock me:

    1) How hard it is to find one-piece swim suits suitable for lap swimming even at sporting good stores in a major city like Boston. I’m forced to order most of mine from

    2) The large number of women who come to swim laps wearing the smallest of string bikinis. Lap swimming in a thong with side-ties — it boggles my mind. I’m not exactly Dara Torres, but flip turns are hard enough to execute without worrying about my swimsuit coming untied and being sucked into the filtration system.

    I would have a very hard time taking any woman who swims laps in string bikinis seriously… but then again, I am admitting to being a fogy.

  6. titania says:

    Agreed, this is why, when I used to do the online dating thing, any picture of a man without his shirt on was a cause for immediate dismissal.

    That is more egregious than a profile filled with grammatical errors.

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