Woulda Twittered Wednesday… if I Were to Tweet

I know that mall stores play holiday music beginning in November, but must my coffee shop try to make my head explode by following suit?

“Stop being a slave to the tyranny of your own ego” – advice to OSSL after he avoided getting laid because of a useless argument

If you’re gonna argue with me about the constitution to impress a woman, you really should’ve been right b/c you’re a lawyer and I’m not

Correcting an attorney on the constitution using my pocket copy is apparently a good way to block/win the girl

I need a new word that describes “something of value abandoned with an old date because you decided recovery cost isn’t worth it” Thoughts?

On a scale of 1-10, please rate my asshattery for not wanting to date a woman because she txt msg lk 16yo grl.

I didn’t wake up in my clothes on Saturday morning… but only because I thought it a good idea to strip in the kitchen on Friday night.

To the dude who just purchased a ruler long and half dollar thick cigar, it’s not a conversation piece; it’s a compensation piece.

I get the appeal of cuisine as competition; but competition with parties outside of one’s self is antithetical to cuisine.

This is a blatant admission that NaBloPoMo is kicking my ass.


14 Responses to Woulda Twittered Wednesday… if I Were to Tweet

  1. Shannon says:

    Oh, who HASN’T stripped in the kitchen? It gets warm in there!

    It has been a long time since I’ve been there.

  2. Christina says:

    The fact that you have a pocket constitution on you is awesome.

    I started carrying it during the prior administration and just haven’t broken the habit.

  3. “abandoned with an old date” – does this refer to something antique that was abandoned, or that you bailed on a potential love interest?

    As for texting in “tweener”, I find it completely unacceptable. Especially in people over the age of 25. So I think this is a 3 on the 1-10 superciliousness scale, and is only that high because some people who do this are otherwise utterly fantastic.

    I suppose it could be both in the sense that a rather lovely set of antique cufflinks are still in possession of an old love because I decided that the recovery cost was too high.

  4. LiLu says:

    Little known fact: I *may* listen to Christmas music year round.

    I know. I KNOW.

    There may or may not be an album of jazz Christmas music that I listen to when the days are long and warm.

  5. I also love Christmas music, although I’m usually pretty good about only listening to it November and December. If you do like holiday music (just seasonal appropriate), make sure to snag a copy of the Bob Dylan Christmas album. It’s wonderful.

    Thanks for the tip.

  6. Titania says:

    I must confess that Christmas music kind of annoys me.

    For the abandoned object, hmmmm, “peace cost”, “war loss”? I am not feeling very creative today, I’d better go undress in my kitchen

    I adore Christmas music when it’s done well; I just don’t think we should be bombarded with it in every venue right after Halloween.

  7. kitty says:

    I don’t think you get a high number for the texting like a child. I can’t respond nicely to a “HOW R U” text and it’s nice to just eliminate texting with those people.

    Glad to know that it ain’t just me.

  8. brad says:

    Level of asshattery = off the scale.

    As in 0.

    I really just want to reply to all of them with “Text like a fucking adult;” but that would be childish.

  9. Alice says:

    omg. potential dates are immediately taken off the list if they cannot text like a grown up. (obviously i’m OK with a lack of capitalization, though.)

    perhaps you SHOULD be twittering, if you have this many 140-character thoughts? 🙂

    I am too far down the anti-twittering trail to change course now.

  10. lacochran says:

    “On a scale of 1-10, please rate my asshattery for not wanting to date a woman because she txt msg lk 16yo grl.”

    Does it have to be for this specific reason? Kinda limiting.

    Sorry to try and place you in the metaphorical corner… I know that “Nobody puts Baby in a corner.”

  11. Lazygal says:

    “On a scale of 1-10, please rate my asshattery for not wanting to date a woman because she txt msg lk 16yo grl.”

    Can’t claim I wouldn’t want to date a woman because she txts, but then, I only date men. And if they txt lk 16yo? #FAIL (jk LOL).

    Partners in asshattery?

    Partners indeed. When shall we hold the first meeting of the council, and will two qualify for a quorum or shall we recruit more partners in this LLP?

  12. elle dubya says:

    mildly turned on by the fact that you carry a pocket copy of the constitution. that one totally caught me off guard.

    Oddly, I’ve found that you’re not alone in that perspective… though it has rarely translated into actual action.

  13. Nancy says:

    “something of value abandoned with an old date because you decided recovery cost isn’t worth it” = wisdom

    I really kinda miss old watch though, and a pen or two.

  14. […] name of this blog and my real name just in case either suddenly become famous.)  As I have done in the past, the following 140 character or less thoughts, questions, statements of philosophy, etc. crossed my […]

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