- Red pumps with a black business suit = great; red pumps with black ball gown = hooker.
- Every man should have the experience of saying no to a woman who is unaccustomed to hearing the word. It is an invigorating experience.
- The likelihood of a dude getting laid on Saturday night is inversely proportional to the degree of tooldom he displays to the bar staff.
- Every time I watch Top Chef it makes me want to drive to Zaytinya, find Mike I and repeatedly punch him in the face.
- I know that this is an inside joke, but LiLu did you invent this http://ninjaoffer.com/?
- Overheard at the bar: The only way she got into those pants was with a stick of butter and the grace of God.
- Get over to Little Miss Whiskey’s before it’s too cold to enjoy the best patio in the city. Don’t expect Whiskey.
- You know you’re old when: you’re talking to a woman in a bar and realize that you once dated her mother.
- Why do fun size Snickers bars taste so much better than their full sized brethren?
- A woman sitting next to me on the train just quoted Pablo Neruda; I would have fallen if she wasn’t married.
* Any of you should feel free to correct the conjugation of those verbs.