Kryptonite Is Only Dangerous If You Want It

“Fancy running into you here” I said to Kryptonite (formerly known as AB) as I alighted from the car I borrowed from an old friend.

“Good to see you” she replied with a hug hello.  “When did you get this Jeep?”

“I didn’t; it belongs to an old friend.  I am doing an after work dinner/bbq thing at his place for the people in his office, so I have been tooling around all day getting supplies.”

“Well you look great – I mean it’s nice to see you not in a suit for once” she noted with a bit of sarcasm.  “So what’s on the menu?”

“The crowd is a mix of people who need to be impressed and a bunch of junior staffers who need to be fed and given copious amounts of cheep beer, so the menu reflects that.”

“You know, this whole ‘Casual Refugee’ look with the khakis and flip flops and the top down Jeep thing really suits you.”

Actually, it suits Kryptonite and maybe her idea of who she’d like me to be but these are runaround clothes for me (not the Jeep, I’d rock that anytime and in any attire.)

“So come on, tell me what you’re making” she persisted unmoved by the thought bubble over my head.

“Slow Roasted Pulled Pork Sandwiches with a Memphis BBQ Sauce, Capresé Skewers, House Made Guacamole some with bacon some without, Five different types of sausages and brats, Tomato and Gorgonzola Orzo Salad, Asparagus wrapped in Prosciutto, Asian Style Skirt Steak, Jerk Chicken Satay, Lemon and Dill Roasted Sockeye Salmon Smoked on Cedar Planks, and Grilled Pineapple for dessert”

“Wow, that’s some kinda BBQ.”

We exchanged a few more pleasantries.  I asked about her folks, she inquired about my writing.

In what I can only presume was an exhaustion related fatigue, I said “If you’d like, you’re welcome to stop by tomorrow; some of the heavy hitters there would be good people for you to meet.”

“Really, you know how I love your food!  Just send me a text with the place and time.  I’d love to come.”

“Send me one now, please, so I have your number.”

“You don’t have my number?” she said with a pout that I cannot believe I once found charming, and am mystified that I could find it that way again.

“I had to delete it… text messages and emails too.  I didn’t trust myself not to call you.” Kryptonite feigned shock with a tinge of hurt but I knew that it just masked the smile she was suppressing.

A couple of text were exchanged, a couple of promises too.  She promised to show, and I promised myself that it didn’t matter if she did.  I promised myself that I could see her for what she was for me and what I never wanted her to be.

Less than a day later, the cooking was largely done, the masses were fed and watered, the uppercase names impressed, and Kryptonite didn’t post.  The best thing about my new Crackberry is that it makes it really easy to delete the entire history of someone from the device.

I don’t need to delete Krpytonite’s history from my memory… it reflects it very accurately these days.

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12 Responses to Kryptonite Is Only Dangerous If You Want It

  1. Aileen says:

    Very impressive! I am still trying to master the art of resisting my kryptonite…

    I can relate to what you’re experiencing: when you take a step back emotionally and look at the person objectively, it can be mind-boggling that they have the potential for such an effect on you!

    The worst part about finding a cure for Kryptonite is that there is only one way to test the cure.

  2. justjp says:

    Some times you have to wipe the slate clean, blow up the bridge, and take the cyanide capsule to get over it. The power of our past still amazes me.

    Hopefully that last one is not required too often.

  3. “Actually, it suits Kryptonite and maybe her idea of who she’d like me to be”
    Perfect. Head on nail.

    I suspect that were I the khaki and flip flops type every day and she saw me in a suit the reaction would have been the same. She has an issue or two.

  4. f.B says:

    Just the way you wrote “… a couple of promises, too.” So well done. It’s almost like the word “promise” doesn’t mean what it’s supposed to (maybe it never did). But as soon as someone says he/she exchanged a promise, everyone listening knows to look out for many lines of subtext.

    The only ones I expected to be kept were the ones I made to myself. It really is a shame when some people meet your expectations.

  5. elle dubya says:

    A friend introduced me to the concept of DTM. “Dead To Me” requires the deletion of all contact information stored on any phone, email, rolodex (does anyone keep those anymore?), daytimer, etc. Delete all emails, sent & received. Burn every letter, every note, every card. Throw away all the momentos of little value, selling the one’s of great. In essence, erase their very existence from your physical being. Easy enough. But it’s the memories that are seared in your mind that are more difficult to be rid of. The near-tangible recollection of what your own skin feels like pressed against theirs. I wish that could be deleted from a Blackberry as well.

    That is a Nuclear option that I’ve never had to employ. I don’t think I could ever get rid of the letters… I am way too sentimental to burn letters. Hell, I still have done nothing with my ex-wife’s engagement ring all these years later. I never wanted to pass the bad ju-ju to anyone else.

  6. I love Wranglers — they’re most fun with the doors off.

    Doors off is the best, but traveling sans windows and roof is as good as you can get and still be a little practical.

  7. Jean says:

    Very bittersweet. At least you recognize her for what she is. Plenty of people never do.

    Cheers on the rockin’ BBQ menu. It sounds quite delicious, and I’m sure everyone loved the food.

    And shockingly it only took me four of five times to touch the stove before concluding that yes, it was hot.

  8. k8 says:

    I tried to delete my last flame from my phone. Um. There was a short period of time I wasn’t sure about him, so I didn’t immediately put him in my contacts. Now? His number is emblazoned in my memory. I admit, I have texted him once. ONLY ONCE! I think I deserve credit for no more than that.

    The really awkward corollary of this story is that a friend recently gave a different old flame my number. I swear I had finally forgotten the damn thing (after a couple years) and had no way of contacting her.

  9. kitty says:

    I’m proud of your recognition that this woman is no longer your Kryptonite. My guess, though, is that Kryptonite is still very dangerous. It just passes from one creature to the next.

    The really magic is finding someone who has your Kryptonite but who you trust to hold it.

  10. viewonderingnomad says:

    It’s amazing what happens when someone loses their power over you. I don’t have many that had much to begin with, but oh, there is one. Thankfully, he lives in the burbs away from the metro and doesn’t get out much, and I live in the District, and tend to stick around the District. Still. It’s been months and I’ve had feelings for other men, but even now, I have no idea how i would feel if I ran into him. Good for you for not letting her get to you.

    Hopefully when you run into him you will be having a great hair day, looking fantastic, and love your dress. At least that way, you will have a little bit extra armor for the battle of wills.

  11. Lisa says:

    Deletion is such a powerful-feeling tool in the moment. I’ve employed (and re-employed, and re-re-employed) it liberally over the years.

    I have not only employed the deletion tactic through the years, I have even resorted to changing my phone number once… or twice .

  12. Just spent a weekend in Sonoma with my Kryptonite. And now fighting the inevitable deleting frenzy that should, that must, follow.

    But enough about me, you went out in public NOT wearing a suit?!?!?

    That takes a different kind of commitment to Kryptonite to travel all the way across the country, no?

    And that last line made me laugh, a lot.

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