“We kinda suck as bachelors” my dear friend, the Only Slightly Sleazy Lobbyist, remarked this weekend as we sat on his patio an hour or so before dinner. It was a “Guinea Pig Dinner” – me trying some new recipes on friends prior to cooking them for paying clients a week later. The other two guests, one of OSSL’s high school mates and his girlfriend who is blisteringly bright, exceedingly attractive, retired army colonel and could kill you six different ways with a demitasse spoon*, had yet to arrive.
“OSSL, how easy is it to meet women if all you want is to meet a woman?”
“Very easy, I guess.”
“Do you not think that there were at least a half a dozen women who could have filled the other two chairs if either of us had really tried?”
“Let’s go with four instead of six.”
“Fine Four then, the larger point still stands. Some might call us poor bachelors; but I just think that we make more careful choices. I don’t want to cook for just anyone in a skirt, and this is a dinner party at your place… would you really want some placeholder in the chair next to you?”
“Depends on how hot the placeholder is” OSSL says with a smile.
“Fine, you have a point, but really? I mean really?”
Over the next four hours we dined, imbibed, conversed, laughed, cleaned blood spewing from my middle finger after I got careless with my new mandoline, and laughed some more.
Sweet Corn Velute with Lamb Sausage & Mini “Loud Puppies” was a hit but the spiced hush puppies need some work.
12 Hour Pork Roast rolled in Potato Pancakes tasted amazing but isn’t pretty enough for primetime yet.
Braised Beef Short Ribs with Spinach and Potato Cassoulet was a monster hit and I somehow avoided getting blood in any of the dishes.
Mini Apple & Cinnamon Spring Rolls with Caramel Dipping Sauce would have been great but given my injury we passed on this course in favor of continued drinking.
Throughout a glorious evening on a lovely midsummer night I didn’t miss the placeholder not sitting next to me, I did miss the woman I have yet to meet and for whom I would love to cook.
* What is it about a woman who can really kick my ass that is such a turn-on?