Potential Becomes Possible in a Moment

“All potential lovers encounter a moment when the harbored crush becomes possible”

Taken from the book Service Included by Phoebe Damrosch

I know that I really like a word, a sentence, a paragraph when I can’t stop myself from reading it aloud.  I read that sentence and the rest of the paragraph at least a half dozen times this most recent Sunday.  I read it twice to the woman who gave me the book and several times more on the patio of the coffee shop where I began this missive.

With that sentence, all manner of moments – simple and complex, gestures and statements, plain old moments – bounded across my brain like a romantic kaleidoscope.

An ankle crossed against mine and left there

Feeling a charge when the big of my hand reached the small of her back

An invitation for a drink

The warm, breathy “thank you” that I felt against my neck as much as I heard it while dancing a salsa to the Latin-jazz band’s Afro-Blue

The sharing of personal space for no other reason than sharing’s sake

A last look over the shoulder to see if I was still watching

A certain long lashed ingénue saying “it’s too loud in here”

Sitting next to a blind date as she talks to another man and saying “I don’t think that’s the guy you’re here to meet”

“My mother warned me about men like you”

All of those moments were cosmic winks (which are as good as a nod to a blind man) filled with enough electricity to turn a switch in my brain if not my heart.  Now divorced for more than a decade, within a five iron of age 40, I am still looking for my first last moment.

Tell me about your moments…


15 Responses to Potential Becomes Possible in a Moment

  1. Christina says:

    One of my favorite moments happened a few summers ago. I was on the EL platfrom heading home on a Saturday night and this man who just got off a train walks up to me and said “You are the most beautiful woman that I have ever seen and I wanted you to know that” then he walked away.

    I will never forget that.

    Sounds like a man worth some effort to learn more.

  2. When I catch him staring at me.

    Sometimes a look is just a look, but we all know when a look is a look.

  3. Kristin says:

    An umbrella and a suitcase. It might not have been a truly *first* moment but it was the moment when possibility became reality.

    Sounds like a story that requires bourbon to be properly told.

  4. f.B says:

    I wrote about one a while back: “we met on a Sunday, a November Sunday / when it’s gray from the dawn; / and the leaves are so restless / sway, as the chords change / to a late autumn waltz.”

    wow. that is all.

  5. ella says:

    when he sings softly to me, even off key

    does it matter what song? is there any song that he could sing that would swing the moment in the opposite direction?

  6. Sara says:

    Hearing him softly moan after he takes a sip of really good wine and blushing.

    Realizing we were starting something we had no intention of stopping

    Noticing the crinkles near his eyes for the first time in the filtered morning sun

    Just curious… all in the same day/night?

  7. LA Cochran says:

    When we each put up a hand, palm to palm, ostensibly to compare them but, more so, to touch.

    Yeah, that’s a moment for sure, but only when the electricity passes between the two palms as it surely did for you two.

  8. NATUI says:

    When he scratched my cat’s head using his own comb. The tenderness of his actions was a window into his soul. Rare and beautiful.

    If I were ever to voluntarily pet a cat, that would be a moment for me.

  9. LizInDC says:

    When he rolls over in the morning and curls his body against mine, wrapping me in his arms and holding me close.

    When he finds a new place to try, a new recipe to cook, and his incredible brown eyes sparkle like a child’s.

    When I catch him playing base in his room to Bad Religion, and I can watch him until he realizes I’m there and I get a sheepish grin from him, as if I’ve caught him in some secret.

    There’s so many to choose from- not just one moment for me. Then again, I’ve always been a bit of a fool for love- and why not? There’s worse things, in my mind, to be a fool for.

    Having too many from which to choose is a much envied problem.

  10. ella says:

    Perry Como – It’s Impossible.

    Not sure if you’re saying that those moments are impossible for you, or if Perry Como is the guy that puts you in the moment…

  11. redhead says:

    When I have my head in his lap (G-rated!) and he’s playing with my hair. Then when I (inevitably) doze off for a minute, he says it was all terribly cute.

    When he calls me “Sunshine” the next morning.

  12. Heidi says:

    When he looks at me with a big smile on his face.

    When he cuddles me in the morning, and then gets breakfast from the cornerstore.

    When he tickles me to make me laugh and make a snort noise and when he remembers all those random, silly thing i said/say.

    When he brings an extra umbrella or text me to say he loved my cookies.

    When i fall asleep next to him because im too comfy and he puts his arm over me and a blanket and gives me a kiss on the forehead.

    The way he gets a sparkle in his eye out of calling me a Swede when im from a neighboring country..

    When at one point kids i was babysitting ran over, jumped on me and yelled: i love you!

    A man saying my eyes made him weak in the knees and lost for words. (being scandinavian (born and raised) i get tall and blonde a LOT, and change is good)

    There are so many when I come to think about it. Thanks for making me remember them, I am now sitting with the biggest smile on my face.

  13. […] years later.  I invested in his divorce, her dying father, their friendship.  I invested in their moment when potential became possible. I invested in their engagement and mostly electronic courtship.  I invested in his difficult […]

  14. […] And that was the moment, either the question or the shared look afterward, but most likely the combination of the two. That was the moment when the potential became possible. […]

  15. liz says:

    A lurker for a while, but the question prompted a response.

    A first date at the US Botanic Gardens in DC. I was walking ahead, he stopped to admire something and called out to me…”Liz, come back, you have to see this. It’s a pineapple.” Can’t explain it, I just knew it would become something. It was something for a short time, then it wasn’t. I will always adore pineapples. Even more ironic since I’ve always hated the taste.

    Liz, thank you for joining the conversation. I don’t think that moment – whenever it may occur – hews to any particular rhyme or reason; it just happens. Thanks so much for sharing one of your moments.

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