My Type

“I don’t think she’s your type, Refugee” were the words that slipped from the lips of one of my favorite women and in reference to MISTY.  OMFW and I were at the tail end of an evening that would have been among the best dates I’ve had in a very long time had it been a date.

“Why is she here; is she stalking you” was her next query.

“It’s kinda my fault she’s here.  I introduced her to this place and I never should have.  I never should have brought her down here because this is my bat-cave and she ain’t Vikki Vale…  But back to your prior question, why do you think she’s not my type?  I mean what do you think my type is?”

“I can say more about what I think it isn’t than what it is.”

OMFW and I continued our conversation for a bit.  She excluded a few women in the room, never acknowledged that the best example of my type looks her in the mirror, but never quite described it.  Thus, I feel the need to provide more clarity to the question of my type.  For the record, my type is:

Blisteringly bright

A brilliant conversationalist

A toe curling kisser

Appreciative of the movies Thomas Crown Affair, Gross Point Blank, Imagine Me & You, and the Lion King

Eats for pure joy rather than sustenance

Bends her elbow, if not on the regular, at least she doesn’t oppose its bending

A lover of some genre of art

Appreciative of all genres as a generalization

An explorer of the world even if the stamps in her passport don’t testify to this fact

Likes holding my hand

Thinks that slow is better than fast, and words hotter than pictures

Takes care with words

Knows how to fight fairly, because the fights will surely come

Tells me why she’s angry or at least admits her anger and tells me that she isn’t ready to discuss it at the moment

Kisses me goodnight even when she’s mad

Takes great care with the people she chooses to be in her life

Has empathy for all people who cross her path

Reads more than the Style section of the newspaper

Is engaged with our world

Dances like no one is watching and loves like she’s never been hurt

At the very least, tolerates my cigar smoking without sanctimony

Makes metaphors and men turn their heads in equal measure

Likes Sundays in bed with Neruda, Coltrane and the Sunday papers

May not understand my particular brand of troubles (which are not particular to me) but understands when they make me tilt at windmills

Did not think that Sarah Palin was remotely qualified to be a heartbeat away from the presidency

Cleans up well

Is not my ex-wife

A library card is a nice bonus

So is an appreciation for the genius of John Coltrane

Breathes a throaty “Oh my” when she reads this or the things in which I believe just like Annie Savoy

And if all or most of the aforementioned comes wrapped in a package that is easy on the eyes then that is the sundae’s cherry and the needlestack needle.


14 Responses to My Type

  1. brookem says:

    oh, i like your type.
    i am a lot of these things, and the ones that i am not, both intimidate me and intrigue me all in one swoop.

    I have a hard time imagining you intimidated, but that was a very nice compliment nonetheless.

  2. Kristin says:

    Nice list. You’ve got good taste, Refugee.

    Well, it’s easier written than done, but thanks.

  3. redhead says:

    Women like this do kick serious tuchus.

    When they can be found, sure.

  4. SingleGirl says:

    I love this, on numerous levels.

    As you describe it, narrowing to a type of partner would be like restricting yourself to one type of book for all time. I can’t imagine.

    And the end to the included quote (depending on which author you choose)…..

    Live like it’s Heaven on earth.

    Exactly, but just like it would be crazy to suggest that you would only wish to read one genre of book, it is highly likely that all of the books in one’s library do share certain characteristics. I’d like to think that this list reflects those shared traits.

  5. You have lovely taste. (I personally am VERY suspect of people who don’t love dogs or Coltrane. Definite deal breaker for me)

    This list is all of the yes’s, I wonder what the list of no’s for you & me would look like.

  6. ella says:

    i knew there was a reason you were my blog crush.

    I wish that you could see me blushing right now.

  7. Kevin says:

    Nice list. I’ve heard women like this live in Fantasy Land just across the Mint Chocolate Chip Mountains and beyond the Rainbow Factory and Unicorn Pony Farms (where all the unicorns are free-range unicorns).

    Well, I guess part of the fun (and agony) is the search.

    You know… after your comment, I reread the whole post looking for the declaration of the impossible. I really don’t think that the smart woman, who is mature, a good conversationalist, digs art and me, is a Fantasy Island prospect. Unless you consider the difficulty of a woman with those qualities liking me.

  8. LiLu says:

    Knowledge is half the battle… or something. Wink.

    Sure, let’s go with that because it has worked so well for me in the past?

  9. and i thought i was picky…

    I really don’t think I am asking for too much.

  10. kathleen says:

    I like “not my ex-wife” — that’s specific!

    Because sometimes I have a talent for displaying the obvious.

  11. […] Really what was so outrageous? Smart, literate, interesting, likes art, food, and drink, curious, mature, and gets me: that’s not too much to ask. […]

  12. girlofwords says:

    I think what you seek is fantastic. 🙂

    Fantastically difficult to find, but thanks.

  13. Mac says:

    “And if all or most of the aforementioned comes wrapped in a package that is easy on the eyes then that is the sundae’s cherry and the needlestack needle.”

    Well said! Most of those I know feel my “list” is unrealistic. Which is why I don’t date much. But I just think it’s knowing what I want and like. I’d rather be picky than easy. For the most part. And I’d rather have SOME idea of what I want instead of constantly questioning it.

    The thing is while those are the things I want and I don’t consider any of them individually or cumulatively to be unrealistic, I also know that you have no idea what combination of characteristics will make your socks roll up and down until you meet someone who does.

    • the girl who aspires to a cleaner bathroom says:

      it’s not too much to ask at all.

      your light leaves my shadows wanting and your shadows demand more of my light.

      thank you.

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