Maggie and I had a rough start to our acquaintanceship mostly because she was tweaked by my notion that Ansel Adams’ photography is the embodiment of overrated. I might have used the words dilettante, hack, and effete in describing Mr. Adams and or his work. Over time we have moved past those indelicacies and her general uptightness to become occasional if accidental drinking partners as we were Sunday with a large group on the roof of the Reef.
At least three conversations were taking place – one of them about sharing a toothbrush with a partner. Two camps emerged: the “Seriously, This Is Not a Big Deal Camp” and the “Are You Fucking Nuts Camp.” Surprisingly Maggie was firmly in No Big Deal camp.
I was in the No Fucking Way camp but I was never too entrenched in the position. Honestly, I should admit that I was probably taking the No Way position because it was funnier. After a couple minutes of conversational volleys, I finally was ready to issue the trump-line that has been in my head since the discussion started.
“Maggie, if you’d share a toothbrush, Christ on a cracker would you share a vibrator too?”
A satisfying amount of laughter ensued before Maggie stopped laughing and responded.
“That is not the same thing; it’s not like I put a Crest Pro Heath up my hoo-haw. Besides, I don’t have a vibrator.”
“You don’t have a vibrator? Are you serious?”
“No, I don’t.”
I was stunned. A modern though uptight, and cartoonishly gorgeous 30 something woman without a vibrator was not nearly as surprising as the fact that I kept my “that explains so much thought” to myself.
Dear Dozen Loyal Readers,
Have I watched too many episodes of television, or is it truly abnormal for a woman not to have a “personal flotation device?” And where do you stand on the toothbrush debate?