Emotional Critters that Live Under a Rock

“Lots of emotional critters live under the rock of cognitive dissonance” I wrote a friend in a recent g-chat session.  Fear of Rejection is one of the inhabitants under my rock.  Lured from hiding by three rejections in a relatively short span, he crawled into other spaces of my mind all weekend. 

The disquiet of each rejection is borne of the fact that each should be irrelevant:

  • A woman who gives radio silence after two dates which ended in her expressing fondness is a woman made unsuitable by that behavior. 
  • A restaurant owner who is more than an hour late and completely unprepared for an initial meeting would make a painful client. 
  • Some stringy haired harpy who is pissed at me for reasons I neither know nor should matter to me is, well, a stringy haired harpy of dubious standing for friendship. 

All of these were justifiable causes for my rejection irrespective of the other person’s thoughts.  Yet, their rejection has stuck in my craw long enough for me to vent to friends, and write this post.  As natural as the human desire for all forms of affection may be, we all know better when we should know better.  People tell us how to treat them with their actions more than their words.  Their actions have told me that I need waste no more energy on the rude, the disrespectful, or the stringy haired harpy*.

 

*Yes, I enjoyed typing that one more time.  I guess petty can crawl from under the rock sometimes too.

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5 Responses to Emotional Critters that Live Under a Rock

  1. Fearless says:

    Petty is a suit that doesn’t look good on you, my dear. But we all wear it from time to time.

    Petty can be like the ugliest cashmere sweater – really ugly but still feels good.

  2. brookem says:

    even those that shouldn’t be worth our time and further thought can still get under our skin.

    hope that writing about it helps you set it free.

    That we know we shouldn’t be bothered makes it itch even more

  3. The asshats of the world are there simply so we don’t lose our “moving on” skills.

    My skills had a good work out that weekend.

  4. freckledk says:

    Harpy is one of my favorite words – adding stringy-haired to it makes it that much better.

    As for the rest of it? Onward, Mister.

    Writing “harpy” three times and meaning it more with each reference – almost worth it.

  5. Jamie says:

    I like this. The perspective on three types of relationship is interesting. But the same truth holds for all three. It was when I learned to stop worrying about people who didn’t call me back or waited some requisite number of days before doing so, that I found myself spending my time with better people.

    It does still stick in your craw though doesn’t it? I think that’s just being human. We can learn to identify the b.s. better and walk away from it when we see it. But if you really didn’t care at all, you’d just be a machine.

    A man without a craw is not to be trusted.

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