I’ve known Jackson for a few years – we have thrown back a few drinks, had a couple of substantive late night conversations, and been together on both sides of a bar – though I do not consider our relationship particularly close. I have met his girlfriend, Samone, once; it was a couple of weeks ago when Jack and I found ourselves at the same bar and involved in a group conversation with a few other regulars. Samone brightened the bar’s door on the tail end of the evening after she had been bar hopping her way through a Girls Night. I remember her – truly stunning women tend to make lasting impressions – but would never have expected her to remember me. It was late, the bar was dark, and she had clearly enjoyed her evening.
When I opened my email this morning I had a message from Samone, via an on-line dating site.
“I can’t even remember now how I stumbled upon your profile, but I do remember it had something to do with your photo. I admit, I was drawn in by your sexy look, but I liked what you had to say, too. If you’re so inclined, take a peek at my profile (it’s pretty exhaustive) and maybe drop me a line? Maybe we could get a drink sometime? I think we would have a god time if we went out.”
I was almost certain it was her from the photograph and details in the profile, but I needed to be certain. Detective Refugee emerged.
I joined Facebook so I could “friend” Jackson and check his relationship status. Facebook confirmed that Jackson and Samone are still engaged in an exclusive relationship if only in his mind. One of the pictures in Samone’s on-line dating profile is the same picture that is visible on Facebook. I’d confirmed all the relevant details but still had no clue how to proceed.
I poured myself a cup of coffee, smoked a cigarette on the patio and thought how I would want an acquaintance to handle this were I in Jackson’s shoes. I wrote two emails: the first to him inviting him to have a drink with me later this weekend; the second to her.
Thanks for taking the time to write me; your words were kind and flattering. We have met before – a couple of weeks ago Jackson introduced us at the bar. He and I are getting together for a drink and to watch the game on Sunday. I hope that you two will have a conversation regarding our email exchange before then. I wish you the best of luck in the future.
I don’t know if I have done the right thing but I took a deep breath and pressed send to both emails. I hope that beer with Jackson will not force my hand in this matter. I would rather not have to tell another man that his girlfriend is actively looking for extracurricular activities while he’s looking for her Christmas present. What would you have done? What would you have wanted to happen if you were in either person’s shoes?