The List of Things That Suck – or What Beaujolais Nouveau Inspired

 

I received an email from the lovely and Fearless One earlier today.  She wanted me to clarify my position on Beaujolais Nouveau.  We had the following exchange via g-chat:

me:  Beaujolais Nouveau is a joke the Frogs play on the rest of the world to get us drunk on wine that no self respecting wine drinker would touch any other time of the year

Fearless:  I give the marketing people full marks because people are still buying it

me:  people still buy Kenny G albums too

 

All of this got me thinking about the number of…

 

Things That Are Wildly Popular and Spectacularly Suck.

Beaujolais Nouveau

Kenny G

USA Today – it’s like People magazine writes a newspaper

People Magazine – doing more to rot our brains than Britney Spears

Britney Spears – ‘nuff said (yes I have admitted to bopping my head to the song Toxic)

$tarbucks – like that shocked anyone

Absolute Vodka – brilliant and artistic advertising, shitty vodka

Lauriol Plaza – the single most over rated restaurant on the planet and yet scores of people wait hours for the privilege of eating their craptastic tex-mex

Fox News – it’s only popular with some but too many people for my taste

David Caruso – perhaps the worst actor on Television

Potbelly Sandwiches – again, people wait in line for this?

Susan Sontag – Crash Davis was right

Khakis – you’re an adult now; please stop wearing Garanamals

Veuve Clicqout – the last time I drank this is a blind tasting I had them bring me a fresh glass because I was convinced I was tasting residual soap – nope that’s just Veuve.

Hennesy – can we all agree to stop taking beverage advice from hip-hop videos?

Reality TV – it’s a guilty pleasure for some because it just sucks so well

Customer Service from Comcast – you made it so easy for me to break-up with television

Drunken Pizza in Adams Morgan – I know anyone who lives in DC area has done it, but please just say no.

 

Feel free to add to this list via the comments.  For all of the people thinking that they will list this blog, it may suck spectacularly, but it ain’t wildly popular so don’t bother.

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14 Responses to The List of Things That Suck – or What Beaujolais Nouveau Inspired

  1. Rather than simply naming David Caruso, can we just add CSI Miami to the list? In fact, all of the worst actors of all time have been hired to “act” in that one show. It’s horrid.

    I’ll also add:

    Jerry Jones
    Paris Hilton
    Those annoying Mary Kate and Ashley twins.
    Bratz Dolls
    WNBA (okay, I guess it’s not wildly popular – thank goodness)

    I love the WNBA but every thing else – consider it added.

  2. Fearless says:

    I thought USA Today only existed to be given away freely at those “one word” hotel chains (Sleep, Relax, Comfort, etc.)

    You forgot my personal favourite, “Historical Fiction” (which used to be known as the “Bodice Ripper”).

    You call those Hotels up in your part of the world?

  3. Julie says:

    Off the top of my head:
    Nascar
    Hanna Montana
    The Hills (I know you covered that under “Reality TV” but I definitely needed to add this horrific show to the list)
    Bud Light
    Dancing with the Stars
    Sarah Palin

    I’m not willing to put NASCAR on the list just because you, I, and the rest of the East Coast Liberal Elite think it is stupid. Pass the arugula please.

  4. gilahi says:

    I feel like I’ve inspired you, somehow. Or was it just a coincidence that I brought this up at the meetup around the same time that Fearless One mentioned it?

    Add to the list:
    Starbucks
    Verizon
    Maytag
    Jack Daniels (it’s not bourbon, no matter what everybody calls it, and it’s one of the most overrated overpriced liquors out there)
    Samuel Adams beer

    I will confess to be drunk on Lynchburg Lemonades a few times in college.

  5. LiLu says:

    Crap. 6 things on this list fit neatly in my “Guilty Pleasures” box.

    But that’s enough about my box for one day, eh?

    Yes, yes, it is.

  6. brookem says:

    good list!
    what else…
    brad, angelina, and there 39 kids
    jim carey (sorry, i just cant get down)
    that victoria beckham (?) HOH

    Does anyone even care about Old Spice anymore?

  7. Lemmonex says:

    Oh darling, refugee, I do adore you….but railing on Starbucks yesterday and AdMo pizza (which is the best thing in the world when drunk) seems to be plucking at some low hanging fruit.

    PS: Dad runs a Starbucks. Thanks, Starbucks, for giving little Lem health coverage when she went without it for a long time as a kid.

    Starbucks is consistently listed near the top of Forbes magazine’s Top 100 companied to work for – I just wish the treated their coffee as well as their staff.

    Yeah (he says while shuffling his feet a little) my writing arms weren’t very tall with those posts.

  8. The phrase “Think outside the box”
    dark roots
    thong panties

    I don’t know if Dark Roots are sufficiently popular to qualify and I also wouldn’t list thong panties as sucking spectacularly (overrated, sure but they don’t suck.)

  9. Lisa says:

    Clearly you and I are never going out for cheap sandwiches and coffee together. I love Potbelly tunafish sandwiches. I like the wheat bread and I like the very little mayo. I also love their cookies.

    We could totally go for cheap sandwiches and coffee – you just have to let me drive to places that do them both well.

  10. I’ve eaten at Lauriol Plaza. I rank that meal below Taco Bell but above cat food.

    I’m adding the Prius to the list. The chic styling of new wind turbines is proof that eco-friendly doesn’t have to be butt ugly.

    When the Prius was introduced it had to be ugly otherwise people wouldn’t know you were doing something good for the environment. Now it has achieved”so ugly its cute” status.

  11. scottstev says:

    I’m with you everything but khakis. Thinking that wrinkled, torn-up Abercrombie pants are “dressier” than jeans, ok. But good khaki’s are a staple.

    I’m glad you specified Beaujolais Nouveau as opposed to all Beaujolais. Noveau is in fact a marketing creation from Georges Duboeuf (who should be stopped from even thinking about wine as matter of French national interest) to dump the plonk before it gets turned into very expensive ethanol. But Cru Beaujolais is a fantastic bargain. And a decent Beaujolais Villages is a great picnic or table wine.

    Good khakis may be a staple, however they are everyone’s staple – I personally don’t want to see my fashion Doppelgänger at every turn. We do have common ground in loving a good Beaujolais Villages, though.

  12. SingleGirl says:

    I have got the BEST Kenny G story. But it’s not appropriate for the blogosphere because I would get fired.

  13. Seattle Snob says:

    Some thoughts on your wonderful list. Beaujolais Nouveau… I agree but lay some blame on wine stewards who should know better. Starbucks… of course they make shitty espresso but the Stepford baristas think it’s actually good. Note to coffee lovers visiting Seattle: Try Cafe D’Arte, Stumptown, Vivaccis, Trabant or Zoka’s to name only a few… proof that Seattle DOES know what good coffee is… Oh…and being from Seattle, I’d like to add Microsoft Vista to your list. David Caruso… again, too obvious? Maybe, but thanks for saying it anyway. And Kenny G? Not obvious as much as outdated. Can we replace him with any and all singers from the American Idol machine? A few more of my own additions: Thomas Kinkade prints, Godiva Chocolate, Herman Miller Aeron chairs, USB turntables and Humvees. Thanks again for the great list.

  14. […] Bars Together? To say that I’ve neglected my pool game of late would be akin to saying that I think Beaujolais Nouveau is mediocre wine.  With some random free time on my hands, I decided to give my game a few hours of […]

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