Sometimes I belong at the School for Kids Who Don’t Think Good

In the interest of reciprocity (I have written about the foibles of random guests at restaurants I have run,) I shall now share the dumbest thing I have ever said to a guest.

One evening a party of three arrives for a 7pm reservation. I greet them at the door and notice that one of the gentlemen in the party is visually impaired. I change their table assignment to place them at a table that has the fewest obstacles leading to and from the table. I am very careful to lead him to the table and discreetly let him know that his chair is right in front of him. After everyone is seated, I distribute the menus. I very quietly tell this gent that his water glass is positioned at two o’clock, his wine glass at one o’clock.  

I am congratulating myself for being so Politically Correct and sensitive.  In my final act of helpfulness, I alert this gentleman to the fact that his menu is right in front of him at twelve o’clock. He very wryly replies “I am sure that it is, but I still don’t think it will help me much.”


10 Responses to Sometimes I belong at the School for Kids Who Don’t Think Good

  1. brookem says:


    menus should have braille.

  2. LivitLuvit says:

    You get a gold star for that one. I used to occasionally mistake a man for a woman or vice versa- now THAT is an awkward moment, and then you have to wait on them for an hour afterwards. Funsies…

  3. bettyjoan says:

    I can relate to this one–I deal with severely disabled veterans (many of whom are blind) every day in my current job, and I often find myself saying things that elicit a “d’oh!” once I get back to the car. Thankfully, folks have been pretty good-spirited about the gaffes so far.

  4. Vittoria says:


  5. freckledk says:

    You should see – or hear me, rather – around deaf folks.

  6. liz says:

    Quit beating yourself up – frankly, your customer was kind of an ass. My husband is legally blind and would never say something so rude to someone who was just trying to help him . . . furthermore, people with limited vision have all different levels of ability, and you would have no way of knowing what that guy could or couldn’t see just by looking at him.

  7. koprime says:

    It’s cool. I’m a hostess, and I often make the mistake of telling people, “have a good time!” immediately after showing them to the restroom.

  8. Kristin says:

    You tried, right? Not that it makes a difference, I’m sure. Things like that stick in our minds like thorns or brambles. Even when they’re gone, the scratches remind us.

  9. Lisa says:

    Um, duh…this took me a couple re-reads to get. I’m not currently the sharpest tool in the cubicle farm today.

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