Sometimes I belong at the School for Kids Who Don’t Think Good

6 October 2008

In the interest of reciprocity (I have written about the foibles of random guests at restaurants I have run,) I shall now share the dumbest thing I have ever said to a guest.

One evening a party of three arrives for a 7pm reservation. I greet them at the door and notice that one of the gentlemen in the party is visually impaired. I change their table assignment to place them at a table that has the fewest obstacles leading to and from the table. I am very careful to lead him to the table and discreetly let him know that his chair is right in front of him. After everyone is seated, I distribute the menus. I very quietly tell this gent that his water glass is positioned at two o’clock, his wine glass at one o’clock.  

I am congratulating myself for being so Politically Correct and sensitive.  In my final act of helpfulness, I alert this gentleman to the fact that his menu is right in front of him at twelve o’clock. He very wryly replies “I am sure that it is, but I still don’t think it will help me much.”