Another Reason to Behave Well in Restaurants…

Restaurant Professionals may not remember everything about you, but if you make a bad impression, it will get stored in your OpenTable file*.  I recently perused the OT database from ABDR.  I share with you my favorite 10 personal comments about guests with less than stellar behavior**.  These notes were taken by my staff, assistant managers, and me.  The only editing I did was for capitalization.


Sleazy wine rep. that pushes plonk.  Would like to have hookers and strippers come out of kitchen to serve his dessert


We are full, the next time this gentleman calls for a reservation.  If accidentally made – immediately call to cancel.  No good comes from this man and his nut job of a wife in the dining room. 


Very grouchy lady – very perturbed when we could not rearrange the entire dining room for her – snippy when I explained that the timing of tables would not let us do it (and it really wouldn’t, we checked). Limit availability


Prissy, pretentious, label drinking morons.  They wouldn’t know common courtesy if it slapped them in the face.


Hot. Fucking. Mess.  Hair-twirling twits that expect free drinks because gravity hasn’t yet affected them.


Sad, sad lady.  She spends all day being abused by the lawyers at the firm upstairs and then seeks to vent her anger by being snippy to staff.  She is a necessary evil – give her a decent table but don’t comp a fucking thing.


Obnoxious fucks – arrived 30 minutes late.  Demanded a table immediately, sent back a perfectly good bottle of wine just to impress his date.


Most dysfunctional couple ever – they spent their entire meal talking to other people on their crackberries.


Entitled assholes from some food blog.  Told us when arrived “the food better be good because we will be writing about it on our blog” – how obnoxious. Avoid their calls if possible.


Gets exceptionally loud when drunk, gets drunk easily.  Try to seat some place out of the way.


* OpenTable files are specific to each restaurant that uses the system so no need to worry that if you committed some act of asshattery at one place every spot in town will have that record.

** For every negative comment about a guest there were 20 comments about guests we loved.


9 Responses to Another Reason to Behave Well in Restaurants…

  1. freckledk says:

    “Gets exceptionally loud when drunk…”

    Is this all I need to do to get a cozy booth in the corner? Awesome!

  2. Shannon says:

    Dude, are you saying “the food better be good because we will be writing about it on our blog” DOESN’T work?

    Because, man, that’s what I say every time I go anywhere. Even McDonald’s.

    Someone said the same thing to me regarding karoke on Friday, but I still sucked.

  3. Hey Pretty says:

    Man, I wish I had thought to adapt that blogging ultimatum back in the day of my dating-blogging. “Hey random dude from house party, this random hookup better be good ‘cuz I’m blogging about it on Monday.”

    Was that you on the other side of the bar last night?

  4. Dara says:

    I would also assume that the majority of reservations get no comment at all. Which is exactly what I want in my profile.

    True, most had no comment. However, for anyone that dined more than once there were notes. It is how we got to know our regulars. My memory is very good but the computer helped immensely.

  5. Lisa says:

    Wow – this was a fascinating read. I particularly like “No good comes of this man and his nut job of a wife…” I firmly believe that people who are dicks to staff in restaurants and elsewhere are just plain bad human beings.

    the fraternity of people that see fit to be rude to restaurant staff has too many members.

  6. JoJo says:

    Do you mean to tell me when the bartender yells out, “Hey, JoJo. It’s been a while!” and when the GM sends over my first glass of Pinot Noir on the house, it’s cause they’ve kept a file on me? I’m kinda crushed. I thought it was my natural wit and tendency to overtip.

    That the GM knows that Pinot Noir is the wine to send might be in the file, everything else I am sure is your wit.

  7. Aileen says:

    Hmmm…I have mixed feelings about this subject. I used to work in the service industry for years, so I have an appreciation for how obnoxious customers can be.

    On the other hand, I sooo rarely find good service these days, that it seems unjust that they can determine the fate of the customers. I would say that there’s only a small percentage of servers out there who are good enough at what they do, that they have earned the right to blacklist customers.

    I just had a thought- what if each customer was able to enter a thought about their server in the open table system? I’m guessing it would be just as bleak.

    I agree with you that as an agregate the service industry is lacking. However, I think that the number of restaurants providing good to great service is underestimated by the general public.

    RE: 86ing guests – I, the general manager, was the only one with that ability. I used it carefully and sparringly.

  8. Shannon says:

    Refugee, your rendition of “September” has been saved in your ShannonTable file. I’m sorry.

  9. wow..isnt open table…a shared data base?…i mean id hate to think that one little ole tryst in the coat room…BOOM… youre blackballed…and may never again get a good table anywhere forever???

    I knew we’d met before.

    Many components of OT database are shared, however, your specific guest notes are localized to the restaurants that take them.

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