Restaurant Professionals may not remember everything about you, but if you make a bad impression, it will get stored in your OpenTable file*. I recently perused the OT database from ABDR. I share with you my favorite 10 personal comments about guests with less than stellar behavior**. These notes were taken by my staff, assistant managers, and me. The only editing I did was for capitalization.
Sleazy wine rep. that pushes plonk. Would like to have hookers and strippers come out of kitchen to serve his dessert
We are full, the next time this gentleman calls for a reservation. If accidentally made – immediately call to cancel. No good comes from this man and his nut job of a wife in the dining room.
Very grouchy lady – very perturbed when we could not rearrange the entire dining room for her – snippy when I explained that the timing of tables would not let us do it (and it really wouldn’t, we checked). Limit availability
Prissy, pretentious, label drinking morons. They wouldn’t know common courtesy if it slapped them in the face.
Hot. Fucking. Mess. Hair-twirling twits that expect free drinks because gravity hasn’t yet affected them.
Sad, sad lady. She spends all day being abused by the lawyers at the firm upstairs and then seeks to vent her anger by being snippy to staff. She is a necessary evil – give her a decent table but don’t comp a fucking thing.
Obnoxious fucks – arrived 30 minutes late. Demanded a table immediately, sent back a perfectly good bottle of wine just to impress his date.
Most dysfunctional couple ever – they spent their entire meal talking to other people on their crackberries.
Entitled assholes from some food blog. Told us when arrived “the food better be good because we will be writing about it on our blog” – how obnoxious. Avoid their calls if possible.
Gets exceptionally loud when drunk, gets drunk easily. Try to seat some place out of the way.
* OpenTable files are specific to each restaurant that uses the system so no need to worry that if you committed some act of asshattery at one place every spot in town will have that record.
** For every negative comment about a guest there were 20 comments about guests we loved.