My worst date ever….

…was also my first date.


I was 16 and it was my first day with my first car, a white Fiat Spyder with a tan top. It was the 16th of June many years ago and weather for the evening was supposed to be the kind of late spring balminess that is the reward for bitter winters.

Finally decided to ask out Toi Robertson*. I had been crushing on her from a distance for months but I couldn’t ask her out until I could take her out properly – in a car that is. I get to her house, survive her old man’s roasting and finally make it to the car. I am feeling like I have the tiger by the tail as the really pretty girl settles into the seat of my convertible, the car I had been saving for a year to buy. I came crashing back to earth when she asked me to put the top up. I should have known better than to keep going; but my first real date could not end like this. So I drove to dinner with the wind that was in my sails, now passing all around but not in the car.

I took her to dinner at Houston’s in Georgetown, hoping that the really pretty girl would be impressed that we were having such a grown-up evening. No. Our conversation was non-existent. I was hoping that it was the difficult shy conversation of soon-to-be star gazing teenagers; but no. I kept asking questions only to receive the minimal number of words in response. I tried everything in my paltry 16 year old arsenal, but all romantic weapons were firing blanks.

After dinner, we walked around Georgetown, all the while I was hoping against logic and hope that something would spark. Walk-Away Sundaes from Hagen-Daas – nothing. Continue to ask questions in an attempt to display my earnest interest in her – nothing. The only weapon left was the Declaration of Independence Memorial, a small island on a man-made lake that is romantic overkill. Surely no one could stand in the presence of the most romantic space in all of DC and be blasé.

As we drove to my last chance of an island, I teased the view to come. She actually showed a hint of interest for the first time. Following a brief search for parking, we are walking in the moonlight towards the island, under a canopy of trees, in the midst of a young summer night until we arrive.

They had drained the lake for cleaning.

OK, Karma, message received.

* name changed to protect the lame






4 Responses to My worst date ever….

  1. Lemmonex says:

    Christ, this sounds like half of my dates now. Why is it so impossible to get a decent conversation going?

    Lemmonex, you will have a better chance if you stopped trolling day care center’s bars populated by 21yo’s for dates.

  2. Emily says:

    Hilarious. Hope you’ve fully recovered, and Karma’s come back around!

    Thank you. Fully recovered – it was a long time ago.

  3. freckledk says:

    Crikey. Where were you when I was 16?

    College; I think.

  4. I’m dying! I didn’t see that ending coming! Oh the universe — never mess with it. Its comebacks are just too creative to endure.

    I didn’t see it coming either… and I’m still not sure what I did to the Universe to deserve it. But I am sure she had a really good reason.

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