The other night I had a beer with the Guest of Honor from my only brief dinner party in history. It was the first chance we have had to get together since that night. It was also time for me to give him the update on ADA. GH learned about ADA a few days after our second date but before her predictable panic attack. The great irony is that GH and I had been having more than a few conversations about meeting the person that is exactly the right kind of crazy for you. He recently met his second.
His first wife, the love of his life, died of breast cancer. One need only look at his eyes when he speaks of her to know that theirs was a thoroughly real and pure love. When she died several years ago GH lost his “one true love” he had told me on many an occasion. On the first day of April this year, we met for a beer. As I approached, he ended a phone conversation with “OK, dear, I love you too. Talk to you soon.” To which I responded, “that had better have been your mother.” It wasn’t. It was his fiancée, a woman he had known for 13 days. After convincing me that this wasn’t an April Fools day joke, he also convinced me that this was indeed something real. This dovetailed into a discussion of just how many “ones” are out there for anyone. After several beers vociferous discussion, we settled on 100 as the right number to use for the sake of argument.
Being the amateur statistician, I declared it a virtual impossibility to actually meet that person. The fact the GH has caught lightening in a bottle twice notwithstanding; I never expected it to happen for me. The universe’s comic irony of meeting ADA a couple of weeks later is…well it wasn’t lost on me.
So this evening was dedicated to beer and conversation. I explained what happened with ADA in very short sentences – all I could put together at the time. Explained that talking about it now feels like having the wind knocked out of me. Explained that when I am alone with my thoughts are the worst times. Explained that I never felt this for my ex-wife, or any of the three women I have loved. Explained that I think of her constantly. Explained that a part of me wishes that I never knew a woman could make me feel this way. Explained that it just sucks, gods have a twisted sense of humor, and that timing is apparently everything.
GH sets a course to present the bright side / tells me to be patient / not right now doesn’t mean not ever / etc. I stop him.
RR: I gave you the update because I needed you to know, not because I wanted advice.
GH: got it. I’m a guy. When we hear a problem we try to Fix it, Buy it, Kill it or Listen. We always forget about that fourth option.
I had a cleansing laugh.