I’m emotionally unavailable – of course women find that attractive

I have been known to frequent a bar or three in the past.  The frequency of my barfly evenings, however, has slowed since I rediscovered my love for entertaining at home.  Yet it was not entirely surprising that I found myself at the bar to watch the basketball game, have a cigar, a cocktail, and finish my newspaper – not at all in that order.


Three very attractive women celebrating “the two year anniversary of a 29th birthday” happened to take residence in the seats next to me shortly after I arrived.  In deference to them, and because a good bartender tends to new people before friends, they ordered first.  My friend the Smoking Hot Bartender turned her attention to me.  Given the oppressive heat, I wanted something refreshing, bright, and interesting in a glass.  I wanted a Santero.


SBH is a very good bartender; however, maybe three bartenders in this city can make a Santero.  So I taught her.  The three women to my left were intrigued.  I offered them the cocktail to taste and then they were enthralled.  A conversation was sparked.  The four of us ran a conversational gamut between, the NBA Finals, current political landscape, post-feminist women, theatre, and more.


After returning from a visit to the wash closet, two of the three women had repaired to a table at the front of the lounge.  The remaining woman, a striking brunette from New Jersey about whom I could find no NJ jokes to be told, and with a conspiratorial look about her, told me that she wanted “me to have some privacy when I asked her for a date.”


RR: I am flattered you would say that, and at another time I would have already made the dinner reservations, but I am not in a great position to date at the moment.

SBNJ: Of Fuck, are you married?

RR: No, divorced.


RR: No.

SBNJ: Seeing someone

RR: No. (Interrupting her next query) Listen, I am a bit emotionally unavailable at the moment.  I dated someone recently, though briefly, that has forced me to recalibrate my approach to relationships.  It ended in perhaps the only way it could – badly for me.  Being the hopeless romantic that I am, I won’t say that the next person I date would be on some level a rebound because you just never know about these things.  However, I think a bit more time to get my head around this is the only fair way for me and whoever “she” may be.  I am still very happy we met this evening.  I am glad that I ignored my newspaper, only watched two minutes of the game and had a great conversation with you and your friends.  And I would love to continue getting to know you, but I don’t think you want to date me right now.

SBNJ: I understand, I think.  You’re probably right; I don’t want to date you right now.

RR: Friends, though, right?

SBNJ: I said I didn’t want to date you, now I just want to take you home.


I will never understand women.  I also wish that I knew how to date or “vote” for sport.  SBNJ, I look forward to our exceedingly platonic coffee this Sunday.


2 Responses to I’m emotionally unavailable – of course women find that attractive

  1. Lemmonex says:

    Um, who would find that attractive? Crazy people, that is who.

    I’d like to think that she was dazzled by conversation. Yet I know that it was my cologne “Eau de Unavailable”

  2. Interesting, I tend to attract the married ones these days, wish I had a portable lie detector gadget.
    Have fun at your platonic coffee outing.

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