The Would We Get Along Quiz
For all statements with which you agree or describe you, add the corresponding number of points. Disagreements have neutral point value, though, for vehement ones, subtract the points. Honor system and your good judgment are the governing authorities. Scores of 90 points or higher are solid indicators for friendship compatibility.
Disclaimer – Yes, I wrote the original version of this quiz for a dating website; but this is shared solely for entertainment value.
- You can name any two members of the Rat Pack besides The Chairman – 10 points
- Fox News Channel is to News as ______________ is to __________________ – 5 points, but I get to score that one.
- You have a subscription to and/or regularly read the New Yorker magazine – 5 points
- You think that Ultimate Fighting is barbaric – 5 points
- You prefer city over country – 10 points
- You disdain food as theater but cannot imagine life without great food – 15 points
- For you, a bad night at the theatre is better than a good night in front of the television – 10 points*
- You regularly incorporate the words troglodyte and/or Visigoth into your vocabulary – 5 points for each
- You’ve bought a drink for a stranger in the last month – 5 points
- You prefer black-tie to blue jeans and think that people who purport to like them both in equal measure are full of shit – 5 points for each part of the question
- You think that great wine tastes better when shared – 5 points
- You can name any three of the five red Bordeaux grapes – 10 points
- At some point in your life, you spent some time employed in the service industry – 10 points
- You know what happens when the immovable object meets the irresistible force – 10 points
- You know how to dance – the rhythmic movement of one’s pelvic region against another’s pelvic region which passes for dancing these days does not satisfy the definition of the word for purposes of this quiz – 5 points
- True or False: every silence is a void?**
- You have a secret super power – 10 points
- You regularly read the I Saw You section of Craigslist because you’re an optimist not because you expect to have been seen – 5 points
- You have a habit of inventing words that your friends incorporate in their vocabulary – 5 points
- You know how to perfectly make at least one cocktail – 5 points
Bonus Round (two points for each affirmative answer)
- You think Mohawks, Fauxhawks and all of their derivatives look really fucking dumb on 99% of the people who wear them.
- Your friends look like a cross section of society.
- People at your coffeshop are happy to see you.
- You are aware of the brilliance of any of the following television shows (two points for each) Homicide: Life on the Streets, SportsNight, RealSports***, Weeds.
- You’ve never read a single word of the Twilight series
*line lifted from one of my favorite women who would prefer to be nameless.
** Score yourself five points for false, zero points for true. Subtract five points if you still disagree.
*** Bryant Gumble may be a pretentious arse, and Bernard Goldberg a rightwing wingnut; but this show is the 60 Minutes of the sporting world.