The Most Navel Gazing, Self Important Post I Have Ever Written

29 January 2010

While some of you may debate the accuracy of the title, I am certain that an entire post about the fact that I have finally succumbed to the gravitational force that is Twitter qualifies for the slightly hyperbolic statement.

My opposition was first rooted in the inanity and drivel that were the limited tweets that made it into my Twitter-free world.  That line of thought was muted when a friend boxed me into admitting that if I consider haiku the most difficult poetic form, it was illogical to not consider tweeting or micro-blogging the most difficult blogging form.

The more lasting opposition was born of just not finding a purpose to it.  Whenever the subject was broached I would simply state “I’ve yet to have someone make a convincing case on why I should.”  I would sit and listen and I was not swayed… until last night.

My friend, LiLu and I were talking and she was, yet again, trying to convince me to just make the step.  After a few minutes, she gave up trying to penetrate my too thick skull.  Forty minutes later the subject had changed multiple times, another round of drinks had been ordered, and she handed me her phone with the simple preface “This is what you’re missing with Twitter.”

brandyismagic: HAD’s having his first radiation treatment tonight.  Then I’m going to make him watch The Bachelor. I think he’d prefer more radiation.

For those of you not familiar with Brandy and her Hot Awesome Dude, she and her manfriend are dealing with his recent diagnosis of multiple myeloma.  They are the reason that a great number of bloggers loaned our corners of the internet to Brandy to tell their story and ask for positive thoughts.  They are the reason that even more bloggers gave their time and, ahem, singing to create the Love Harder video.  They are the reason that people all over the world have donated thousands of dollars to research a cure for this disease through the Love Harder Project.

Through all of this and against a backdrop of serious medical hardship, Brandy found a way to be funny, and poignant, and encouraging, and it made me a little misty.  And that’s what I was missing with Twitter.

While Lilu still needs to teach me the ways of Twitter, you can now follow me @restrntrefugee.

What Else Are You Gonna Do in 9 Days?

2 December 2009

There are too many reasons to get together with friends in early December… the top five off the top of my head:

5. You survived Thanksgiving with the family, or the in-laws, or the new partner’s family, or without any of that.

4. Closer to Christmas and Hanukkah no one has time with the shopping and the parties, and the other random obligations that arise.

3. Because on this date in 1960, Aretha Franklin gave her Big Apple debut performance at the Village Vangaurd – how do you not honor three legends?

2. Drinking away your holiday presents budget is a great way to keep costs down.

1. Because LiLu, Maxie, and I decided it’s been a while since we got the band back together.


Some Random Housekeeping:

I’ve consolidated the posts in which I offer advice/opinions into a section of links on the right.  It is either a hopeless exercise of my own vanity or something slightly helpful for a reader or two.

I Know / I Wish

19 September 2009

I know your boyfriend is an asshole and I haven’t even met him yet.  I wish I knew you well enough to say.

I know you don’t like me and that I wouldn’t trust you to make oxygen into carbon dioxide.  I wish that you would stop pretending.

I know that we’re back on friendly terms, can bend an elbow together even, but I’ll never be with you again.  I do wish that I could bottle that look from the first time I rejected you.

I know that you and your fiancé are happily ensconced in your life and you know that I love both you and her.  I do wish that you and I still had our great friendship.

I know that you mostly mean well when you keep offering me that gig.  I wish that I could take you seriously.

I know that you’re married and I am no threat to you, your husband, or your marriage.  I do wish I didn’t enjoy being around you quite so much.

I know that you’ve loved me since before I was born.  I wish you didn’t have such a fucked up way of showing it.

I know you’ve been sober for five years now and your sobriety is more important than our friendship.  I wish the two weren’t mutually exclusive.

I know that you’re a gentleman and a stand up guy.  I wish you hadn’t placed me in a position that asked me not to be too.

I know that I am a deeply flawed man.  I wish I spent more time trying to fix the fixable flaws and made less excuses to place flaws in the non-fixable column.

The Fall Meme – My Answers

16 September 2009

This is my third attempt at crafting my own meme – eventually, I’ll get one really right and it will go viral… right? No?  Whatever, I’m going to keep trying until one does or I get bored.  So this is the official Dirty Dozen Fall Meme, I won’t tag anyone; however, should you choose to participate, I’d appreciate the courtesy of a link back.  Feel free to tag people if you wish.

  1. It’s not fall in DC (or your city of origin) until _____________? It’s not fall until I can wear cashmere, the mosquitoes are gone, and I’ve switched to a Manhattan as my drink of choice.
  2. Kelly Preston’s character in the movie For Love of the Game expresses her need to escape NYC because “Summer’s almost over, and I feel like I missed it.”  What do you need to do in the waning days of summer for it to feel complete? I need to feel some sand between my toes, eat some crabs & drink beer, and have one more picnic.
  3. The person I know is wrong for me but about whom I frequently think after a break-up is _____________? For me it isn’t one particular woman who keeps coming into my head when I am in a romantic doldrums.  It is usually a revisiting of many failed relationships that I can’t quite understand why they failed.  This is particularly problematic for me if I encounter one of these women.
  4. The US Tennis Open, one of four Grand Slam events in that sport, is currently in the quarterfinal round.  If you could only attend one major sporting event what would it be? I needed to do some reductive thinking to answer this question.  After eliminating all contenders, the last event standing was March Madness – preferably the first two weekends.
  5. Assuming that you write an anonymous or partially anonymous blog, by what non-physically identifying characteristics might you be identified in a bar? If you notice a seemingly overdressed guy who is scribbling in a journal or pecking on a computer, that might be me.  If that guy is wearing antique cufflinks and smoking a cigar, then the odds get much better.
  6. Most blogs cover some sort of niche – personal, political, dating, culinary, etc.  What topic, if any, would you like to address on your blog but doesn’t fit into your niche? I am extremely passionate about politics and would love to write more about it.  I do know that I lack the discipline and patience to research and document all of the things necessary to write about that subject in a manner that would be satisfactory to me.
  7. If you could manipulate the time space continuum and give as many as three pieces of advice to a younger version of yourself, what advice would you give and to what age of you? To the eight year old Refugee, don’t try too hard to fit in with the kids at that school; they will never accept you and neither will their parents.  You will have more fun without them.  To the twenty year old Refugee, there really is no need to rush through undergrad.  To the twenty four year old Refugee, please take that job at AOL; you can deal with the commute and will retire in four years.
  8. Who among your friends do you really wish had a blog because their stories, or perspective on something ought to be shared? One of my favorite bartenders would be a terrific blogger.  She is insightful, funny as all hell, and works behind a bar on Georgetown Saturday Nights which I am know leaves her with plenty of stories.
  9. If you were to take an e-cation (vacation from the trappings of our electronic world,) and assuming that employment obligations would allow it, how long of a break could you take? What would you miss the most, the least? If the e-cation occurred at the same time as an actual vacation, I could last at least a month.  I would miss the late night emails from clients the least and I would probably miss my relationships to the blogs I read the most.
  10. On September 11th of this year, I will be attending a couple of parties and am somewhat conflicted by the fact that this ignoble anniversary shall pass with it being just another day in the eyes of many (and in some ways my own eyes as well.) Thoughts? I think I answered this question within the question, however, to expand a bit more… I did what I could to embrace the Day of Service concept by volunteering some time with one of my favorite charitable organizations.
  11. How high are your walls?  Who was the last person to scale them? What tools should would-be climbers have on their belt? My walls are tiered and have increasingly sharp barbed wire the higher one climbs.  They have gotten higher in the last year and that is not a source of pride for me.  The recommended tools for scaling them: patience, optimism, a well turned phrase, a love for rainy Sundays with Coltrane and Neruda, an appetite.
  12. The sexiest thing a wo/man can say to you (or has said to you) is _____________? This tastes amazing.


Other Lovely Bloggers Participated:

Just A Titch

Hannah Just Breath

Dorothy’s Not Dead

Life of Planet Dan-E

Skrinkering Hearts

Elle Dubya

Was It for This

The Kristen Chronicles

Are You Really Interested

Is There a Doctor in the House

Seeking John Galt

I There a Dr. in the House

Bikram Yoga Chick

An Open Letter to People Who Took Issue with an Open Letter

2 September 2009

I had intended to post something else today.  A post with a bunch of mini restaurant reviews was scheduled to appear two minutes after I received another thoughtful comment taking issue with my last post.  This is an amalgamation of emails exchanged with a few readers who took particular umbrage with what they perceived as the smallness of calling women names in this space.

I hate to give one of those political apologies which are generally devoid of meaning as it is apology without acknowledgement… but I apologize for any offense I might have caused, it was not my intent.  I respectfully disagree, however, with much of the characterizations levied in both public and private.

With regard to the pettiness of the post and the outsized nature of my indignation, I gave considerable thought to that interpretation.  My initial reaction was to agree with the supposition; however, after some more mental marinating, I have grown to think that position is largely the result of interpretation through personal experiences.  Through the prism of women who have surely been the recipient of unwanted attention, my indignation might seem to have been an overreaction, but how was it really?

As some acknowledged in comments, my blog is a space for me to bitch about any number of topics.  How much did I really bitch though?  I wrote that accusing a man of wanting to “check out [your] ass” in a voluble tone was conduct not befitting a lady and I contend that it is not.

I described a woman as Plain Jane which can be read as a pejorative, but I solely intended as a descriptor.  Had it been a man that had been rude to me I am sure I would have written something about his corporate khaki and polo uniform.  I further wrote that her response made me doubt the existence of a man that would marry her – that would have been a bridge too far if stated to her in reply, and admittedly may have been in this context as well, but I still don’t think it an egregious thought to express anonymously (both author and subject) in this space.

The past her prime platinum blonde line was inspired at least as much by my affinity for alliteration as it was an effort to describe a woman who was far too old to wear a skirt that short, a top cut that low, and generally looking like a 50 year old club kid wannabe.  For the record, I would have described a man dressed in equally age inappropriate attire in similar ways.

As I noted and some graciously acknowledged, empathy is tough for men here. But the converse applies as well.  I don’t think there is any value in comparing the difficulty of having one’s motivations constantly questioned versus receiving unwanted and or crude sexual attention.  But it is worth considering how it might have felt for me on that day, on the many days that this has occurred.  How many women can empathize with the frustration associated with the accumulated indignities from the tactic and implicit questioning of one’s integrity in that manner?

“Get over it” was the suggestion from more than one reader, and I should be flattered that readers consider this place somehow above such pettiness.  I don’t think it was anything extraordinary that I ranted about a slightly shitty day, as I have ranted about far less.

Many of you may still disagree with me on the merits of that post.  In fact, I know some of you still do.  I will concede that the post could have been more artfully written to have avoided that reasoned perception but I hope that this missive finds us all on more common than divergent ground.


P.S. New Recipe on My Recipe Blog – Braised Short Ribs with Truffled French Fries

A Brand New Baby Blog

16 August 2009

I am a sufficiently good cook that people pay me, happily and handsomely, to make food for them in their homes, but I suck at writing down recipes.  Often my clients will ask me for a recipe and I will give them some bullshit excuse explanation about giving away trade secrets and a wink.  The fact of the matter is that most of them exist only in my head and I am often too lazy busy to write them down.

To give me some direction in an effort to change my shiftless-ass habits a place to structure this effort, I started a new blog.  Recipes from the Restaurant Refugee is designed to force me to record dishes so I will have a compilation of things I have created when my booze addled brain can no longer recall them.  Having them handy for clients is a nice bonus too.

Currently there are very few pictures of my food as I neither posses a digital camera (have I ever hidden my happily Luddite nature?) nor the time when I am cooking to stop and take pictures*.  I will do my best to remedy that in the future.

I will be migrating recipes listed on this blog to the new place, and my goal is to post at least three original recipes per week.

Thanks for visiting.

Eat well, drink well, be well, my friends.

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* In early September, I plan on having a “Media Dinner” with the express purposes of having a great time with friends and taking pictures of some of my cuisine.  If you are a good photographer, interested in trading a good meal for photos, and most importantly interesting (I care more about the quality of the dinner party than the photographs but only a bit more,) or you know someone who is, send me an email – restaurantrefugee(@)

Blog Reader Bingo

11 August 2009

Blog Reader Bingo

Simple rules: when blog posts appear in your reader that have the following themes or contain the items listed, mark your box and include a link.  The first person to send me an email or comment with their winning card has way too much time on her/his hands but will receive a gift to be named later.






Navel gazing Post Ended a relationship Started a relationship “Dude, I was so wasted!” Link to a major newspaper
Bi-curios or bi sexual experience I just got a new ________ and I look fantastic in it Use of the word blogosphere or blogiverse without irony A weekend summary that’s not navel gazing Contains song lyrics
New post from someone who hasn’t posted in a month or more A meme so interesting that you want to do it A post so mind numbingly dumb you are forced to end the relationship with the blog Tear jerker Includes an invented word that you plan to include in your vocabulary
Contains a link to a new (to you) blog that is dipped in awesome sauce TMI and not on a Thursday Cheating partner Guest post Post from a blogger you used to date and whose blog you really should have stopped reading
A post that makes you want to date the author A conversation that is written in script format A blistering rant about an intractable problem An annoyingly high number of multiple posts on the same day Contains a flaming comment

Wanna play along with readers at your joint? Feel free to repost, but please give a courtesy link.  The person for whom that statement was written knows exactly who he is.

Midlife Non-Crisis

29 July 2009

The Disgruntled Citizen of the World, otherwise known as Valerie, the author of the When I Become Queen Blog, is having a Midlife Crisis.  Hers is primarily related to music but I can relate on so many levels.  What began as a comment on her post has morphed into full on rant…

I am a late 30 something and exist, rather proudly for the record, on the other side of the generation gap. Lady Gaga could walk into the coffee shop where I am writing and slap me with impunity as I could neither pick her from a mug book nor identify a single one of her songs.  I generally lament the state of contemporary music and have happily severed my relationship with it with few exceptions.  I have simply decided that my time is better spent further exploring the brilliance of Coltrane, Marvin Gaye, Sinatra, and Nancy Wilson’s of the world than finding the gems among the screeching, preening, self congratulatory artists that would lay claim to their collective mantle.

I detest reality television (Top Chef being the notable exception) and brag about never having seen a single minute of American Idol.

I loathe current comedy which, to my taste, has descended into a morass of fart jokes and gross-out humor. I’ve seen every episode of Frasier (thanks to Lifetime’s reruns) and ponder if there will ever be a spiritual successor to the brilliantly pithy and wryly told stories of the Crane brothers, et al.

When forced to send text messages, I ostentatiously and unapologetically use semi colons and parentheticals. I refuse to date women who send me more than two “LOL’s” per week regardless of the medium. I will not Twitter, Facebook*, or subscribe to any other self-important social medium (though I readily acknowledge the irony of my blogging.)

I don’t begrudge anyone, especially my friends on the other side, the indulgences I reject.  I happily visit them at places like Recessions where I’ve been known to down spectacularly large mugs of Miller Lite and sing karaoke.  As the saying goes, some of my best friends are younger than me.  I don’t consider myself any wiser, more sophisticated, or better than them… just older and with occasionally differing tastes – tastes that reflect my version of life on this side.

I am happy here and have one hundred percent confidence that, for me, the grass is greener, the bourbon richer, and the women more interesting from this vantage of the generational fence.


You know it is Wednesday and I took my turn as contributing editor at DC Blogs. Go on check out that which moved me more than most this past week.

The following excerpt is one that I wanted to include but the Executive Editor and I ultimately agreed was a bit much for DC Blogs.  It certainly deserves your attention, however, if you’re not already hip:

It took me several years to fully understand the lyrics to the Ready for the Word song Digital Display.  If I had this handy instructional post from City Girl’s Blog, my accent on the learning curve would have been much faster –  Finger Licking Good-Part III contains explicit material.

Potential Becomes Possible in a Moment

18 June 2009

“All potential lovers encounter a moment when the harbored crush becomes possible”

Taken from the book Service Included by Phoebe Damrosch

I know that I really like a word, a sentence, a paragraph when I can’t stop myself from reading it aloud.  I read that sentence and the rest of the paragraph at least a half dozen times this most recent Sunday.  I read it twice to the woman who gave me the book and several times more on the patio of the coffee shop where I began this missive.

With that sentence, all manner of moments – simple and complex, gestures and statements, plain old moments – bounded across my brain like a romantic kaleidoscope.

An ankle crossed against mine and left there

Feeling a charge when the big of my hand reached the small of her back

An invitation for a drink

The warm, breathy “thank you” that I felt against my neck as much as I heard it while dancing a salsa to the Latin-jazz band’s Afro-Blue

The sharing of personal space for no other reason than sharing’s sake

A last look over the shoulder to see if I was still watching

A certain long lashed ingénue saying “it’s too loud in here”

Sitting next to a blind date as she talks to another man and saying “I don’t think that’s the guy you’re here to meet”

“My mother warned me about men like you”

All of those moments were cosmic winks (which are as good as a nod to a blind man) filled with enough electricity to turn a switch in my brain if not my heart.  Now divorced for more than a decade, within a five iron of age 40, I am still looking for my first last moment.

Tell me about your moments…

An Endorsement and a Proposal

19 February 2009

I endorse, embrace, and enthusiastically support the crush.

In the same way that some would argue that the single cell organism is the purest form of life, I argue that the crush is the purest form of affection.  It is perfect, wholly contained, and needs no augment.  It can exist in a personal vacuum absent acknowledgment or reciprocity.  The Crush can be romantic, professional, artistic, vocational, social, bloggerational, and can even exist within the confines of a healthy relationship.  The crush is perfect.

To have a Crush is to engage whimsy, to embrace possibility, and in the extreme case to wrap oneself in the courage of romance.

With my friend Lemmonex co-hosting a Blogger Crush Happy Hour this Friday, I have been thinking generally about the Crush and specifically about my crushes over the years.  My crushes are more frequently inspired by words and wit than physicality these days.  However, I am not blind; I readily acknowledge that my head is turned by a pretty face but intellect sustains my crush and interest more reliably than rosy lips which are times fool.

This Friday’s blogger boozefest has the explicit theme of inviting your blog crush for a drink.  I posit that we should extrapolate the concept beyond the DC venue, beyond the date too.  Let Friday be the day that you send at least one of your crushes a message that you dig the way they think, write, move, act, play a sax, manage a meeting or whatever else inspires that tingle.  Whether that Crush is across the country or in the cube next door acknowledge it – embrace the crush wherever you are.

Let February 20th be National Crush Day.

A Close Hold

11 February 2009

“Hey Refugee, when are you going to give me the address to your secret blog people keep telling me about?”

I doubt Miss Manners has ever had to encounter a situation quite like this; but I am pretty confident that she would posit that any request to learn an explicit secret is rude.  I am not sure if I was more bothered by the question or my exceedingly lame “then it wouldn’t be a secret any more would it” response. Fortunately, the question was slurred in my direction from a more than casual (but not by much) acquaintance whose attention was quickly diverted back to his drink.

I knew that this day would come.  This city’s too small, a few details too specific, and some confidences are held only as well as the possessor holds their liquor.  I know the people I have told about this place, and I know that I asked for their discretion.  I know a few of the people who have deduced because they made a show of telling me about their deductive thoughts.  I also know that I can’t un-ring the bell for people who have heard, traded in gossip, or even those who might have learned through my own indiscretion.  

Funny thing about the bifurcated world of anonymous blogging is that we are free to be as open, raw, vulnerable, profane, angry, or guarded as the bounds of our conscious will allow.  Even when that cloak of anonymity is pulled back to translate virtual relationships with other bloggers or readers into material bonds we still do so on our own terms.  We do so with the knowledge that we will be sharing this information with that subset who can read and touch.  When we disclose to pre-blogging friends or others who don’t know it is that same controlled release.

To you all in my blind spot, I ask that you not expand the circle, because I like the freedom of controlled release.  I like being able to write openly.

So next time our paths cross pretend like you never read the story about the time I _________________ because I didn’t tell you.



You know it is Wednesday and I took my turn as contributing editor at DC Blogs. Go on check out that which moved me more than most this past week.

And here are a few links I also was digging but couldn’t use in the round-up for whatever reason:

Just about anyone who has talked to me for more than twenty minutes since this summer has heard me blame almost the entirety of our current economic crisis on the grotesque greed of the Masters of the Universe.  If I had the time to write an op-ed for the Washington Post and wrote as well as two leading professors from Harvard University, it would have been something like this.

I really think that Vix, The Over Educated Nympho, has the best idea about re-jiggering not just Valentine’s Day but the entire month of February for single people.   Happy I Am So Much Hotter Than That New Tool/Hooker S/He is Dating” Day.

The DC Universe finds time to dis Marion Barry, Old Rich People, and a suspect press conference question all in one post.


Insomnia, or Why I Keep Commenting in the Desperate Hours of the Morning

14 January 2009

Twenty seven degrees is seasonable for three hours past a DC January midnight, but is an unreasonable temperature for an insomniac to sit outside and try to force thoughts from brain to fingers to computer keys.  I have little hope that cold air in my lungs or words on a screen will help me find restful sleep for the first time in a fortnight but what else do I have to do?

As I sit here, I am struck by the complete stillness of this night, like the air is being too stubborn to move.  Only manualy driven wisps of my cigar smoke move in the darkness.  Ideas do not come, words refuse to form, and sleep keeps mocking me.

An hour is enough.


Oh yeah, since it is Wednesday, I took my turn as contributing editor at DC Blogs. Go on – check out that which moved me more than most this past week.

The Bloggerational Ball – We Made Some Changes You Can Believe In

12 January 2009

It’s like this…The Bloggerational Ball Committee has gotten elevenity nine emails from people saying, “Wish we could come, because we heart the Obaminator, but we are broke-ass due to these rough economic times.” And guess what? WE HEARD YOU. The new POTUS and his administration are all about Hope and Change and Egalitarianism and Saving Your 401K. And we’re on board. So, we thought, why not be the ultimate embodiment of that message? Why not show our support of El Presidente via booze and a party that’s open to everybody and most importantly, FREE? As in COSTS YOU NO MONEY!!!!!!

In changing this to a zero cost of admission event, we were unable to rework the arrangement with Bourbon, our original location.  No hard feelings towards Bourbon and their management – they remain a great place to get your booze on and soak it up with bite of food – it just didn’t work. 

In the Spirit of Obama, we tossed the old game plan and came up with a new one:

We are going to congregate on the second floor of the Reef in our dress up clothes (hells bells we still want you to wear your ball clothes).  Katherine is still going to campaign for Ball Queen and will be taking photos for her drunkie documentary. LiLu will be brining tatertots from home and nomnomnoming away. If you can pry one out of her fists, you can have one. And Restaurant Refugee will be in a tux. And probably a Zoro mask to hide his secret identity. And drinking champagne. The only thing that has changed really is thecost and the location (and the perks, but whatever, the booze will still be flowing).

Come on out and BarRock the Party with us, kittens!

New Details for The Bloggerational Ball

Sunday, 18 January 2009, 8pm

The Reef

2446 18th Street, NW

Washington, DC 20009

Twelve Beers on Tap – 3 to 8 dollars

Pretty Tasty food – most items under 10 dollars

Celebrating the Obama Inaugural with a bunch of really cool people – priceless.

RSVP to – it is only polite to give the good people over at the Reef a heads-up regarding the number of people attending.

p.s. For anyone confused by my sudden embrace of the word “kitten” or other phrases that aren’t my normal style, one of my lovely co-hosts, Katertot, wrote this post.

An Extremely Belated Lesson from Montgomery Brewster / Since I didn’t send Holiday Cards

31 December 2008

As I was g-chatting with my favorite Canuck last evening, we began to discuss our respective options for New Years Eve.  Neither of us was enthused about the options before us.  Considering options A through D it took a moment for me to realize that Option E – None Of The Above is always on the ballot even if not explicitly.

Considerably later in the evening/very early this morning, my insomnia hindered mind began to consider the metaphorical implications of voting for None of the Above.  Besides the obvious reference to the movie that inspired the title of this post, I started to view it as a philosophy for daily life.  For too long, I have consider mainly the opportunities afforded me or those I created as the only candidates on my mental, physical, emotional, intellectual ballots.

How would my life take shape if I checked the metaphysical None of the Above box?

How many dates would I have skipped?  How many parties might I have ignored?  Are there jobs I never would have worked, conversations I never would have had, mediocre blog posts never published?  Not that I would take anything back – regret is a wasted emotion – because I largely am a fan of the man that my experiences have shaped, but as simple as it seems, it was too rare that I considered not doing things.

I am going to a couple of parties this evening convinced of the likelihood of having a good time if not a toe curling midnight kiss, but I feel better in the  knowledge that I considered checking the box unseen and have a head start towards achieving at least one tacit resolution for the year.


To all of those who spend some of your time reading my ramblings, missives, advice, and stories, I am humbled by and unspeakable grateful for your time, comments, and friendships (real, virtual, unspoken, or otherwise.)  I wish you all a New Years Eve filled with good cheer, good company, better booze, and an even better 365 days until we all do it again. 

I would be remiss if I didn’t send extra thank you’s to:

Lemmonex – somehow you became my blog rabbi, most frequent counselor and occasional drinking partner in the infancy of this place.  Thank you for your counsel and friendship.

Shannon – you were for a while the funniest woman I had never met; now that I am lucky enough to count you as a friend you make me laugh harder, and smile wider.

Katertot – I never would have thought that a silly contest idea would have yielded a relationship I value so much in such a short time but I do and I am grateful for it.

LiLu – whether it is over the interwebs, from adjacent bar stools, or g-chat, you have become so dear to me despite the cringes you induce on Thursdays.

Fearless – it’s not just that you keep my virtual company in our mutually insomniac moments, but that you make virtual feel so real.

Lisa – there has been no place on the interwebs that was the source for greater singular optimism for me than yours.  You have made me snarf coffee/wine on more than a few occasions when I have really needed it. 

The Blogger I will not Name but Must Mention– our conversations made me want to be a better writer and I will never take our letters lightly.

The Blogger I Would Love to Name But I Have a Feeling Wouldn’t Want the Attention – you deserve the urgency you seek (just a reminder) and thanks for speaking softly, being the grand dame you are, and not spreading it around that I am a cheap date.


 As it is Wednesday, I took my turn as contributing editor at DC Blogs.  Go on – check out that which moved me more than most this past week.

The Blog of My Dreams

24 December 2008



Thanks to Julie from Makeup Text, I now have a picture of how this blog looks in my dreams.

Wanna add a slice of bacon to your place or any other website? Click me.


Random Update:

I received the following email from the folks at Urban Dictionary:

Thanks for your definition of Multi-Jacking!

Editors reviewed your entry and have decided to publish it on

It should appear on this page in the next few days:

Urban Dictionary

Multi-Jacking: Noun, The act of pleasuring oneself while doing something else.


Katertot, thanks for suggesting I submit it; even though it was something I overheard at a bar rather than created myself; I am still happy to take credit.


To all those who will not be reading tomorrow, I wish you an abundance of good cheer, good times with families (be they chosen or inherited,) good food, and better booze.


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