A Few Open Letters

Dear Time (re: Passage of),

I would really appreciate it of you would stop playing parlor tricks with my memories.

Sincerely,

The Guy who wants to stop thinking about The Girl

****

Dear Short Haired Girl / Once & Future Long Haired Girl,

You are still the prettiest girl in the room.

Sincerely,

A Guy Who is Happy You’re Happy and Healthy

****

Dear Random Woman from Internet Dating Site I Have Used for an Embarrassingly Long Time,

When we were chatting the other night and you asked what I first notice about a woman, contrary to your implication, I was not being coy by telling you that “it’s complicated.” Had you asked me in person, or any format that lends itself to long form answers and given me a minute to consider the question, I might have answered something like this:

I notice eyelashes, and collar bones, intellect, and shoes. I notice the cut of her jib, and the yes, the size of her rack too (however enlightened and renaissance, I am still a boy.) I notice the book in her hand, the shape of her skirt, the sway in her walk, her choice of libation, and too many other things too. It is… well, complicated if for no other reason than the fact that what I notice is situational and personal.

Sadly, you opted for judgmental and shrill… or was that just the effect of the chat format? No matter, as I am pretty sure that I don’t need any more judgment or shrill in my life.

Sincerely,

The Guy You Ran-Off Before Even Meeting (is that some kinda record for ya)

****

Dear Manager at Random New Restaurant,

Do you actually owe money to the Mob, or is your wine list just priced like you do?

Sincerely,

A Guy Who Knows What You Paid and What You Charge

****

Dear Handful of People Who Still Read This Thing,

Thank You.

Sincerely,

A Guy Who Appreciates That You’re Still Here.

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13 Responses to A Few Open Letters

  1. Always enjoy your posts :-)

  2. ofcourse i still read this thing :) I always look forward to your posts.

  3. You are on my reader… and I always wish my husband was a bit more like you…

  4. Dear Guy Who Sometimes Writes,

    I will always be a reader.

    From,

    The Girl Who Understands the Open Letters

  5. i like the penultimate letter. dating a guy in the wine industry has almost entirely turned me off wine in restaurants, sadly.

  6. i love open letters. bravo, sir.

  7. Christina says:

    Glad you are writing again!

  8. Jaime says:

    a new recipe would be nice too. . .please.

  9. rachaelgk says:

    Cosign on number two. <3

  10. lemon gloria says:

    Hmm. I wonder how many guys I may have run off in my too-long time on the Internet by being judgmental and shrill?

    And I love the wine list one.

  11. Still here, however delayed in my arrival.

  12. The Manager at the New Restaurant letter was my favorite. I think he may have managed a few restaurants in my area before going to DC.

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