I long resisted the meme for reasons I shall keep to myself (Abraham Lincoln’s quote, “Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt,” comes to mind.) I did this one because it was different and another because it was literarily and emotionally convenient, but when the Washington Post succumbed to the spreading-faster-than-an-STD-in-a-whorehouse Facebook Meme, limits had to be drawn. Surely I can write a better meme, my hubris cajoled me into thinking. Then I spent far too long thinking about it and only crafted the following eight questions.
- Most people have at least heard Rene Descartes’ elegant cornerstone of philosophy “Cogito Ergo Sum” which translates from Latin to “I think, therefore I am.” One of my favorite magazines, Automobile which plays the role of New Yorker to Car & Driver’s US Weekly, uses a derivative phrase to encapsulate its existence – “Cogito Ergo Zoom, I think therefore I go fast.” What would your derivative be? Cogito Ergo ____________
- I find 99.99% of all Employment Applications to be disrespectful of the tree that gave its life for the printing. Canned questions with even more practiced answers yield no useful information that could not be gleaned from a resume. If you were able to add one substantive question to every standard application what would it be?
- I think that manner in which people treat restaurant service staff is among the truest measures of character. What unconventional behavioral norm or standard do you use as a personal tape measure?
- 2009 hands you an unexpected, wrapped gift with a large bow. What is inside? You then have to gift this box anonymously to someone else. To whom do you give it and what is inside?*
- You recently witnessed a Mob hit. After testifying, you entered the Witness Protection Program. Where would you like to be sent? Who would you miss the least?
- The Johari Window is a decades old personality test. Four panes of a window are used to represent the self that is known to you and others, the self only known to you, the self that is known to others but not you, and the self that is unknown. Two part question: What are the rough percentage sizes of your window panes, and how has blogging changed your window?
- Opposite ends of the Bell Curve: name something you do so poorly that you are an outlier to the left and something you do so well that you are an outlier to the right – assume a normal distribution; therefore the outliers represent the worst 2.5% and the best 2.5%
- Gimmie a couple truly Pet Peeves – nothing grand like intolerance or people who kick puppies; list something rather trivial that irks you way more than it should.
The rules:
I ain’t tagging a soul. If you wish to respond in the comments, or on your own blog, that would be nice. I will answer questions another day.
* This question was written in conjunction with mostly by Single Girl for a three way we had with Katertot for the interview meme (still waiting on your answers, lady.)
8 February 2009 at 18:18 |
I love this. I have been tagged about 20 times in that Facebook thing and I refuse to do it. Didn’t we all participate in group emails answering Memes about five years ago…over and over and over.
This is interesting and thought provoking. I don’t know what I am going to do with it yet…but thank you for giving me hope. Seriously.
8 February 2009 at 18:26 |
Okay #4.
I am given a box with a gift inside? It is money. Enough money to allow someone to retire and be comfortable for the rest of their life.
Who do I give it to? My mom and dad. My Dad: An immigrant who started as a taxi driver and worked his way up to successful businessman…and my Mom: An amazing woman who in her 50s works as a teacher for young kids with severe mental and some physical disabilities–mostly autistic children.
She is exhausted from hard work every day (doing something she loves–but is difficult for someone HALF her age) and after decades of working and raising 4 kids and a couple of lovely pets–they both deserve relaxation.
Easily two of the hardest working, most unconditionally loving parents a person could have.
9. Pet peeve?
People who do not respond to emails.
Double standards
Bullying
Judgmental people who refuse to see life in greater shades than black and white
Girls asking to borrow my lipgloss or chapstick. Gross.
People who do not wash their hands.
Grammar police.
Lack of creativity.
Dullness.
8 February 2009 at 20:55 |
1) Cogito ergo spud – I think therefore I yam.
Cogito ergo popeye – I think therefore I yam what I yam.
Cogito ergo palomino – Descarte before de horse.
9) People that take food off of my plate without being given permission. If you ask to sample my food, I am extremely happy to share with you. If I offer you my food, please feel free to take what you like. Do not, under any circumstances, feel that it’s OK to take any food at all from my plate unless one of those two things has happened first.
8 February 2009 at 21:48 |
done and done!
8 February 2009 at 22:15 |
1) Cogito Ergo Nom – I think therefore I eat.
3) Eye contact and smiles. I go out of my way to make them feel good about serving me. And a good tip never hurt too.
4) My gift is perseverance. I hand this gift out to whoever needs it the most.
9) People who imitate my actions. I know that it is supposed to be a compliment and flattering but it just pisses me off. Like they are not original.
9 February 2009 at 12:44 |
I will not participate in the Facebook one. I just won’t. This sounds much better.
9 February 2009 at 13:01 |
i think it’s funny that your response to the facebook thing is, “pssch! i can ask better questions that open-ended responses!”
9 February 2009 at 13:13 |
#3: how people behave when passing through a previously-closed door. do they check to see if there is someone behind them, and pause to hold it open? do they hold it open so that someone else may pass first? do they rush to get through it first, and ignore others?
i similarly judge people by their elevator behavior, and whether or not they hold the doors for others.
9 February 2009 at 15:30 |
I haven’t seen questions this difficult since I was admitted to the Bar.
9 February 2009 at 19:59 |
my brain hurts just reading the questions. i may need to fix a drink to make it through them all.
10 February 2009 at 19:33 |
25 is really too many, no need for eight more.
9 September 2009 at 07:19 |
[...] is my third attempt at crafting my own meme – eventually, I’ll get one really right and it will go viral… right? [...]
16 September 2009 at 12:44 |
[...] Fall Meme – My Answers This is my third attempt at crafting my own meme – eventually, I’ll get one really right and it will go viral… right? [...]