Inspired by the last line of this post from my new virtual friend from the Back Bay wherein she wonders if her date from an on-line dating site will be “wayyyy uglier than in his pics,” I am opening the world’s first gambling window for online dating. All bets must be placed at least 12 hours before the date.
The Current Lines/Odds:
Woman Dating a Man:
He is uglier than Pictures – 3 to 4
He is shorter than he claims – 2 to 1
Over/Under on the height difference – 1.5 inches
He is only capable of being funny in print – 3 to 1
He is actually married or otherwise coupled 4 to 1
He asks you to split the check – 6 to 5 and pick em’
If he is wearing a hat in at least one of his pictures, he has a severely receding hairline not reflected in other pictures – 3 to 1
If anywhere in his profile he indicates that he “looks younger than his age”, he is at least five years older than he told you – 3 to 1
Virtual chemistry doesn’t translate to actual chemistry even if physical is there – 4 to 1
That he will be late – 2 to 1
That he swallowed the person in his pictures (the camera lost a 100+ pounds) – 8 to 1
If any of his messages contained text message speak, that he will verbalize “LOL” at least once – 6 to 1
That he will be wearing khakis – 4 to 5 (applies only to city dates, please email for the line on suburban dates)
Will try to get into your pants on the first night – the betting is closed.
Man Dating a Woman:
She is uglier than her pictures – 2 to 1
She had at least one shot of booze before you got there to go through with it 4 to 1
That she has a friend/safety valve calling after 30 minutes – 3 to 4
That she has already named at least one of your future children – 3 to 1
You asked for drinks and she changed it to coffee, the chances of actual chemistry – 7 to 1
All of her pictures are facial close-ups or shot with her standing to the side, the chances that she is substantially larger than you think – 3 to 4
She will be late – 4 to 1
That she would prefer to have gone some place besides the place you suggested – 2 to 1
That she is a closeted vegan teetotaler (oh, wait that’s only happens to me) – 100 to 1
That she actually remembered her sick aunt in the hospital after minute 15 – the betting is closed
Posted by restaurant refugee 
