The thought invaded my head with a surge of force. It was divorced from logic – we ended thrice and with better reasoning each time. Yet there was this picture kaleidoscoping through my mind on a five minute loop. I was grateful for each reprieve when I would regain control of my brain and function for 300 seconds before the same picture of her would return.
I tried to spin it into prose; to will the picture from my head by drawing it with words – they wouldn’t come; but the image would. Returning with the beat of the slowest metronome I’ve ever known.
“Light me a cigarette and pour me a drink” AB said by way of salutation. She was dressed like a great 1960s cliché – slightly shimmering grey ¾ trench, black seam symmetry running up the back of her legs, and strappy black pumps.
She followed me into the kitchen closing the door behind her. I pulled a bottle of wine from the rack and AB walked closer to me than needed to get glasses. I poured wine and she gave me the classic glance-up-look-down-glance-up move. If I had super powers of resistance, this was kryptonite in a gaze.
“May I take your coat” I offered by way of attempting to change the subject we weren’t discussing.
“I’ll keep it – not sure how long I’ll be staying.”
AB moved deliberately into the living room, striking heel toe against hardwood with precision. I didn’t need the sound effects; the shoes had already garnered attention. I watched her, just as she wanted me to do, cross the room, pivot, settle into my chair – the big man chair – in the corner, and cross her legs. I followed AB to open the window and light her cigarette before sitting on the opposite couch – wasted movement as I would need to rise to pour her more wine as she had finished the drams I had poured already.
This was everything I had learned in the brief history with AB distilled into a glass with all of the complexity of the wine we now sipped. At once possessed with unassailable confidence and betrayed by doubt, a glint of guardedness in her eye but permissive in tone, she was easily read but as understood as a Cornell West dissertation.
Bluntness was a dangerous proposition here – it was equally likely to progress or end a conversation – but I risked it anyway. “Why are you here, AB?”
“What do you mean?” she replied despite fully knowing the answer.
“I mean – we’ve danced this dance before. Each time the music ends we swear it’s the last time; but here you are knocking on my door on a rainy Monday night. What do you want?”
AB and I have had a couple of arguments and they both ended with her issuing a sensual olive branch. She skipped the argument, the defensive posture and did the heal-toe walk to stand before me. She bent slightly to uncross my legs and position herself between them. She stood there for a minute – allowing the inches separating us to shrink by gravitational pull – before extending her arms down my shoulder blades. I drew a breath deeper than most in preparation to say something – exactly what words I am unsure or have since placed them in an unreachable part of my memory – when she preempted me with a whispered command to “stop over-thinking.”
Searching for perspective and a slightly more safe space, I leaned back into the couch. The third track on the Thomas Crowne Affair soundtrack, Sinnerman, had just started to play as AB loosened the belt knot on her grey ¾ trench. Her coat opened enough to show me a vertical stripe of lacy black bra, matching panties, garter belt, and smooth skin.
I’d never felt a stronger physical attraction to her than this moment. Her attire was sexy, but her method even sexier. Following the not-thinking admonition, I let my hands reach for her at the spot where thighs met stockings. She let me stay there for long enough to enjoy knowledge of the thigh-highs. AB leaned me back into the couch and braced herself against my thighs as she kneeled down.
Never breaking eye contact, she unzipped my trousers and searched for a firm grip before releasing me. We were locked in a staring contest though I am not sure why. AB traced my cock between her left thumb and fore finger until she had its full attention while she used her right hand to keep me firmly pressed to the couch. She placed her mouth close enough for me to feel the heat of her exhaling onto me, and with one final look took me into her mouth. She used her whole body in the effort – heaving her bosom against my legs, left hand preceding her mouth in motion and right moving from my chest to my torso and back again.
Nina Simone is still singing – disapprovingly in my mind – in the background as I opened my eyes to find AB looking at me. I didn’t know if she was enjoying her mouth or her power over me more. I am not sure I cared.
I tensed inside of her and AB allowed the only words since “what do you mean” to escape her lips. “Yes” she said lustily and repeated twice more for effect before she willed me to explode. She drank thirstily until I was spent.
She pushed herself prone and away from me.
“Thanks for the wine” she said as she heel-toed towards the door, tying her coat as she went.