It Is Hard To Breathe That High Up

20 August 2008

The email came as I was having a decompressing cocktail with my favorite bartender and dear friend, K.  I dropped the phone on the bar, rose from my stool and took a step beck before reading it again.  Did I just read that?  Surely I must have stammered seven “wow’s” before real words began to form.

 

“You OK” the recently non-smoking K asked.

 

“If you read what I just read, you would relapse and kick a puppy if he stood between you and a pack of Marlboro Lights.”

 

I exhaled deeply and marveled at the ability of a woman I have never met to erase all logical thoughts from my mind and make a four hour drive seem completely reasonable at the moment.  As K poured beer and mixed sundry cocktails for others, I tried to steady my addled brain to explain.  Short sentences, I reminded myself.

 

It’s nothing

It’s virtual

We’ve never met

She is an intimidatingly good writer

We don’t know each other

It’s a surreal online flirtation

A manufactured narrative

Of poetry and prose

In octagonal harmony

It started so innocently

And morphed into this

Tales of a perfect Sunday

Of coffee, and newspapers, and amazing sex

Intelligence as aphrodisiac

I’m not making sense

This makes no sense

And yet I want her

Badly

But we’ve never met

But I want that Sunday

I want every Sunday

I want that perfect first date

Long dormant things have stirred

And I have no idea what’s next


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