Refuting Terrible Kissing Advice from a Website That Ought To Know Better

20 July 2008

French kissing tips: a hot, wet kiss usually starts off strong and invasive. It floods the mouth with a tongue and opens the mouth wide. A wet kiss can sometimes include licking of the lips and around the lips; even the face can be licked.”

From the Life Script Network article “How to Kiss A Man”

 

This is perhaps the worst advice I have seen on the internet since Shannon turned over her blog to ZipCode and she espoused the virtues of waxed berries as an appropriate form of Manscaping. 

 

 

I have examined kissing technique before – the core of my position is that the quality of the kiss ties to the compatibility of styles – but I did not provide any concrete suggestions for being a better kisser.  In an effort to be one contrary voice to the generally horrid advice from Life Script, I offer:

 

The Refugee’s Guide to Kissing

Kiss with your entire body

Alternate speed

Communicate with the kiss

Gentle biting is hot

Understand that a hickey is a bruise – adults don’t bruise each other (unless both parties are into that)

Place your hands on my face, neck, back, head, ass, or anywhere else they are inspired to roam

Talk to me

Guide me

Find that spot where neck meets torso

Kiss me hello

Kiss me goodbye

Kiss me for no discernable reason

Understand that kissing does not have to be a precursor and is a lovely end in and of itself.

Kiss with urgency

If forced to make a choice, slow is better than fast, gentle better than forceful

Fast and forceful have a place too

Match my pace

Set the pace

Find a rhythm

Pull away, give me a knowing look and start all over again

Kiss like you mean it

 

Don’ts

Use your tongue indiscriminately

Lick any part of my face, teeth, or ear

Draw blood – unless asked; I will never ask

Leave trails of saliva

Fake anything


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