An Open Letter to the Two 40 Something Women Across the Bar on Monday

5 June 2008

Dear 40 something Women,
My friend and I were the two thirty something gentleman at the other end of the bar on Monday. We were having a pleasant enough time telling the stories of our week over a beer or two when you two walked into the bar at the same time as that pair of Pop-Tartlets that sat next to us.

With that simple choice of where to sit, the arch of the evening was altered for all of us. We sat there attempting to enjoy our conversation though we were forced to try and ignore the vapid blather that spewed from the two Project Runway rejects to our left. We had to be polite when they kept interjecting in our conversation. They were forced to spend the maximum amount of time their attention spans would allow wondering why the tawdry lipstick, immature I-wish-I-had-some-depth gaze, low-cut high cut combination was not resulting in free drinks.

And you, our would-be 40 something friends, had to insult us on your way out. Because when we sent you that round of drinks, you two choose to read it as something other than we intended. We sent you those two glasses of wine because:
You’re usually more interesting at 40 something
Having laugh lines means that you know how to laugh and that is a great thing
We would have greatly preferred you two sitting next to us
We thought both of you attractive

So when you said “we don’t need your pity drinks” rather than a simple thank you that was the first moment when we pitied you.

Hope that all four of you had a good evening.


favorite of anything is a dumb question…

4 June 2008

But I answered it anyway in the form of an email from a woman who found me on the dating website that drove me to blog in the first place.  At some point, I am sure that I will write about the intellectual laziness that inspires one line emails, but this is not that moment.  Her query “So, what are some of your favorite restaurants?” 

 

Favorite as applied to anything subjective is so overly broad that it no longer has meaning not to mention cliché.  I hate clichés as much as I detest low hanging fruit, yet in the spirit of courtesy and knowing that a good blog post might be derived, I answered with the following:

 

Favorite restaurant is a loaded term.  Favorite is conditional – favorite for what occasion?  Favorite by definition implies familiarity – how can any reasonable person call a variable entity a favorite without multiple visits to ensure consistency?  Favorite is a very different question than best and favorite does not account for price point.  So, given the aforementioned givens, my favorite restaurants in DC…

 

Favorite for a first date that won’t think I am a pretentious ass for going someplace nice on a first date – Mendocino Grille

Favorite for a first date that need be dissuaded of the belief that I am a pretentious ass and therefore must be taken someplace with really good food but with more of an edge and not terribly pricey – Granville Moore’s

Favorite place for Muscles and Fries and Belgian Beer – Granville Moore’s

Favorite for a second date or a really good steak – the bar at Capitol Grille

Favorite after a craptacular day and I need a culinary hug – Cashion’s Eat Place

Favorite for a dive burger and a surprising but exceptional scotch collection but only if I am in and out before the “flip-cup” playing hordes arrive – Adams Mill Bar & Grill

Favorite for a gourmet burger and well made Manhattan – Palena

Favorite for seafood when I am in the mood to hang with the beautiful people – Hook

Favorite crab shack – Cantler’s (if you can find the place, be sure to leave a trail of breadcrumbs to guide you home)

Favorite for BBQ that is actually worthy of the drive to Richmond – Buzz and Ned’s

Favorite for a gastronomic journey that is as good as the most famous / most expensive places but not that famous and not terribly expensive – Komi

Favorite for egoless cooking that is absurdly, consistently, very, very good – Corduroy

Favorite place that will get me to crass (typo but I’m keeping it) a moat into Virginia (really the only place) – Restaurant Eve

Favorite Wine bar that I adore despite its own popularity therefore making this choice a bit cliché – Cork

Favorite Pizza – Coppi’s (2 Amy’s would have been in the running if it weren’t for all of the three feet high Petri dishes running around the place and making quite a racket)

Favorite Dive Bar – Tune Inn (all the accountants and lawyers have ruined the Raven)


hamlet v. sex and the city

3 June 2008

I have nothing against Sex and the City, fans of SATC, the premier parties, the shoes, or the cocktails.  Hell, I even have fond memories of attending SATC parties at Felix and drinking my share of flirtini’s way back when. However, the world is going to hell when one of the best Shakespearean Theater Companies in the country is giving a free performance in an intimate amphitheatre and the seats are only 60% full yet all over the region SATC theatres were sold-out.


Dinner Corrected

2 June 2008

The clichéd references to “the best way to get over [insert preferred gender] is to get under another” are absurd.  This methodology does, however, work beautifully for bad dinner parties. 

 

Wednesday evening one of my dearest friends, the Only Slightly Sleazy Lobbyist, and our mutual friend, the Smoking Hot Bartender joined me for dinner at my place.  It was my first opportunity to use my cheesy new flea market acquisition.

 

 $15 at Eastern Market

Mock me if you wish, but I love the “Champagne Bouquet” as a concept. 

 

It was also the first time that I was able to discuss ADA with them.  After the Sausage and Morrell Tomato Cream Sauce over Tagliatelle but before the Cheese course, we went outside for a cigarette course.  OSSL had to make a phone call so SHB and I sat and talked.  I told her the entire story. We discussed the mathematical impossibilities of the whole affair.  SHB and I enjoyed the cool spring evening, a sumptuous 1997 Barolo that is just beginning to drink well, smoked too many cigarettes and reminisced.

 

By the time OSSL had finished his phone call, and SHB and I the wine, we were all ready to repair back to the living room for cheese.  This midweek dinner party was a balm for my psyche.


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